Here's the thing about depression, It sucks!

𝖲𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗇𝗍𝖾𝖾𝗇~ What I am

Meredith's Pov

All day I have had a painful feeling running through my abdomen. It felt like shocks and jolts of pain all throughout my stomach.

"Woman troubles?" Cristina asked.

"No, I just need to make a choice" I said grabbing my stomach to stop the pain.

"The vet and McDreamy making you sick?" She said. Cristina didn't know it was Addison who I slept with. She thought I slept with Derek. And she hasn't kept her mouth shut about it near people. It had been two weeks since the prom and she spoke a little too loudly about Derek near his wife. She thinks I slept with her and her husband.

*****

After standing in a room while Bailey lectures a patient on quitting his smoke habit, I felt almost dead inside.

"You okay Grey?" She asked.

"Yeah, I just... need to make a choice"  I said as Derek approached.

"I have a surgery do you want in?" He asked. I put my head down and I saw Addison walking over.

"Dr. Bailey can I uh—" Started.

"Oh my god" Derek said.

"Oh my god" Addison followed.

"Oh my—" I said as I threw up.

"No! Mr.Sullivan don't light that!" George yelled. The man burst into flames as he hit the floor.

*****

"Get her some water" Bailey said.

"You need rest, I'll be back" Derek said. He ran up the stairs to speak with Richard, Addison, and Mark Sloan.

"That's going to be fun" Cristina said sarcastically. I rushed over to the trash and vomited again.

"Oh god" I said.

"Holy crap are you pregnant?" Cristina yelled loudly. Everyone's eyes turned to me. Derek came rushing down the stairs.

"Adulteress love child" Addison said through her teeth. Derek has no clue what she meant.

"Do you need help?" He asked.

"You've done enough" Bailey said.

"Go, you have surgery"  I reassured him.

*****

"So, who's the father?" Cristina asked.

"I'm not pregnant!" I shouted.

"How are you so sure?" She asked.

"Because I haven't slept with Finn" I said.

"So it's Derek's" she stated.

"I didn't sleep with him either!" I yelled.

"So who did you sleep with, because you had a hickey on your neck!" she asked.

"None of them" I said.

"Who got you pregnant!" She yelled.

"She isn't  pregnant" Bailey said.

"Than can I have some morphine?" I asked.  She nodded and brought me into a patient room.

"Put this on and get into the bed" she said. An hour later she returned and told me I had Appendicitis 

*****

"Addison! Dr.Montgomery-Shepherd?" I called out.

"You bellowed Grey?" She said sternly. She was reading my chart.

"Hi" I said.

"You must be?" She said. "But you're not pregnant" she added. "What happened at the Prom was a one time thing, it's never happening again" she said quietly. I nodded.

"He hurt me when he chose you, I didn't tell you that before but I thought you should know" I said.

"I'm sorry he hurt you, but you need to leave us alone" she said sternly. "You can't be the reason my marriage fails" she added.

"You should leave Dr.Shepherd" I said as sternly as I could for someone who is high on morphine. She turned and left. What was I thinking when I slept with her?

*****
Her and Derek got a divorce two weeks later. And stupidly I took him back. Maybe I would never stop loving someone who hurt me. Not only was I dating him, he lived with me.

Lyrics:

(So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
And I'm gonna hold you like I'm saying goodbye
Wherever we're standing
I won't take you for granted
'Cause we'll never know when, when we'll run out of time
So I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you
I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you)

Word Count: 645