I shot up and looked over at Lakira. She was freaking out in her sleep. I grabbed her arms tried to wake her up.
Joey: Baby! Babe wake up! Wake up you're dreaming Lakira
Her eyes opened quickly. Finally her breathing slowed to the point where she was calm. I let her sit up, not letting go of her hand. She began to sob. I pulled her into a hug.
Lakira: It was so bad Joey. I saw him... Joey: Who? Lakira: Trey... He was standing right next to me and he grabbed on to me and— Joey: Hey... shhh it's okay. You're safe. He can't get to you. He's gone Lakira: I know but— Joey: No buts baby. Nobody can hurt us now. Don't worry
I felt her hot tears slide down my chest. She sniffles between sobs. Joanne walked in, holding her teddy bear
Joanne: Mommy? Are you okay?
She yawned while rubbing her eye.
Lakira: Yeah. I'm okay baby. Just a nightmare Joanne: Do you want me to stay with you? I can keep you safe Joey: You sure could Apple. How bout you hop up here and I get La'kir and his other crib. Joanne: Okay daddy!
She climbed up on our bed and snuggled next to Lakira. I went and set up La'kir in his other crib next to our bed and got back in bed.
I waited till everyone fell asleep before I could. I could tell Lakira felt safer with our kids in the same room. I don't know why but I needed to see what was happening with her.
The next morning I woke up to see everyone gone. I got ready for the day and went to the kitchen.
Joey: Hi my love Lakira: Hey
Lakira seemed cold towards me.
Joey: Where are the kids? Lakira: Kara came and picked them up and took them to my mom's Joey: Oh... Lakira I can explain... Lakira: My best friend? Really? You've got to be kidding me Joey: You have to let me explain Lakira: Fine! Go ahead and explain. Now.
She slammed herself in the chair. I sat across from her sweating
Joey: She was there. She came and gave me comfort and then it just kinda happened Lakira: You did this because she gave you "comfort"? Joey what the fuck! Do you know how confusing it would be for the kids to see their Aunt Kara just waltz in here like their new mom?
I don't know why but I got mad. I slammed my hand on the table and yelled.
Joey: You left me! Not the other way around! No explanation just you packing your shit and leaving!
Tears formed in her eyes.
Lakira: I did that to protect you and the kids! Joey: You could've done that from here. The difference between you and Kara was that she was here. She was here for the groceries and the dinners. She was here for the kids. She was here for me. I was alone! Without you and then she came and I wasn't alone anymore. I needed someone and that someone wasn't you! Lakira: Joey... I'm sorry. Just please let go of my arms. It hurts.
I didn't even realize I was standing up. I had pushed her against the wall and I was gripping her arms. I let go and watched as she began to cry and slide down the wall. I backed up with the tears dripping down my face.
Joey: I-I'm so sorry. I... need to go... Lakira: Wait Joey no. Joey don't leave me!
I grabbed my keys and hopped in my car. I drove around for a bit. I knew she was texting me, but I couldn't face her. I drove to my mom's and snuck past her. I went up to my old room and locked the door. I just needed to sit there for a while.
Finally I decided to check my phone. 8 messages from Lakira. Damn.
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Joey:She knows where I am... great. I can't face her. There's no way I can. Lakira: Well you have to Joey: Jesus! How did you? Lakira: The window. Can't believe I did that when we were 17 Joey: What are you doing here? Lakira: To talk. What happened back there? Joey: I don't know. I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry!
I started to cry.
Lakira: Come here.
She pulled me into a hug. I held her so tight. I missed her so much and as soon as she got back I hurt her. She's been through so much and I hurt her. I hate myself
Joey: I'm so sorry Lakira: Shut up.
She pulled out of the hug and kissed me.
Joey: Why? Lakira: Because I love you. You're an idiot and you do have a bit of a temper but that's okay. I shouldn't have left, but I'm here. And I'm not leaving again. Not ever. Joey: Promise? Lakira: Cross my heart baby. I needed to come home. And I don't mean California. Or the house. I mean you. You're home Joey. Joey: You're home too
I smiled as she wiped away my tears.
Lakira: Now that we're good again, let's get the kids and eat something. Joey: Sound good but let's go through the window. My mom doesn't know I'm here
She laughed.
Lakira: Okay baby
After getting home. We ate dinner and put the kids to bed. I got in bed with Lakira and looked at her.
Lakira: Yes? Can I help you? Joey: What happened last night? Lakira: You mean the night terror... Joey: Yeah. What was that? Lakira: I don't know. Joey: Tell me what happened
She sighed and turned towards me.
Lakira: Well I opened my eyes to see I was back in the basement. I could hear him coming down the stairs slowly. I saw his smirk. The rope. He touched my face and I freaked out.
She started crying.
Lakira: He grabbed me by my hair and forced me down. He tied my hands behind my back and..
She swallowed hard.
Lakira: I tired to fight. I screamed. It felt so real. I felt him. I smelled him. It was like I was there
She hugged me.
Joey: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry my love. Lakira: It's okay. I'm not there anymore. I'm here. With you.
She kissed me. I didn't stop her. This kiss was different. It was sweet. I missed the taste of her lips. I wanted her. I moved her on top of me. My hands traveled under her tank top. She stopped and got off me.
Lakira: I'm sorry. I'm not ready for that again
I smiled.
Joey: It's okay. Whenever you're ready.
She smiled and snuggled up to me. I played with her hair until she slept. Maybe other guys would get mad, but I couldn't be. I don't need sex. I just needed her. Just her.
