Barry had told Alex to keep running. To run for him, for the Flash, for their friends, he wanted her to keep running.
She had. Alex had ran and ran, but for the first few months, it hadn't been running for Barry, it had been running from him. For years, Alex was used to running from her problems. It wasn't until she joined team Flash did she stop running from them and start facing them. As soon as Barry was gone, she had fallen right back into her old ways.
Cisco and Wally were the first to see it. While they would save the city from meta's, petty criminals, or disasters, she would often not show up. They had gotten used to saving the city without her. Everyone had gotten used to living their lives without her, it was as if she had fallen off the map.
No one saw the orange lightning she had trailing around her when she ran, or the familiar black and blue suit. They didn't see her in the grocery store, or showing up to the cortex and ready for a mission. They didn't see her at all.
Joe had visited her apartment, or tried to at least. She never answered the door and when she did, it looked as if it was the first time that she exited her bed room in days. Bags under her eyes, some sort of collection of Barry's clothes hanging off her. It was easy to see that without Barry in her life, Alex had lost all sense of purpose and joy of life from her.
Dylan had tried his best to comfort his sister. He knew that this was hard on her and that he couldn't imagine what she was going through. Though she tried to be herself when he came around, he saw right through her walls that she was forcing up. She was the strongest person he had ever met, and losing Barry broke her like nothing before.
After the death of their father, Alex had broken. She had fallen off track and had done whatever she needed to, to feel alive again. Now, she hadn't fallen of the track, she had stopped completely. Alex couldn't get started again, not without Barry.
Alex hadn't been strong enough to wear the wedding ring that Barry had given her the night he went into the Speed Force. Every time she looked at it, it just reminded her of him and how much she had missed him. Living without him had been harder than she had ever imagined. It was impossible.
Every day was the same. Wake up, force herself to eat something, drive until the hours passed away, eat, sleep. The odd time that Wally or Cisco were in dire need of help, she would show up, save them, say nothing, and leave again. She never showed her face in STAR Labs and she didn't go to Joe's house no matter how many times he asked.
That was the first two months.
Something her her sparked during the third. Alex was no longer stuck in her own world of pity. Barry wanted her to do better than this. He wanted her to be happy, to be strong, for him. By not being the hero that she promised him she would be, she was throwing away everything good about his legacy.
Alex needed to be Mirage, she needed to be the hero that Central City needed. It was what Barry wanted, and it was what she needed to do. Barry had been strong for her during her coma, and now that he was gone, she needed to have faith that one day he would return to her as well. He had never lost hope in her, now it was her turn to do the same.
So, when Alex showed up at STAR Labs, cleaned up, and trays of coffee in her hands for everyone, they had known that she was back. It was time to clean up this city once again, not for her, but for Barry. This was what he wanted, he wanted her to keep living her life, he wanted her to not shut people out.
After Savitar had destroyed STAR Labs, it had taken them a lot of time and a lot of money to get the place back up and running. However, as she walked into the cortex that morning, seeing it all fixed up, she felt as if she was right at home where she was supposed to be.
The team was surprised to see her there. Iris was working on the computers, Wally and Cisco talking about the next meta that they were going to catch. Alex looked like a new person since the last time that they had seen her.
She wore a pair of shorts with floral shirt. Her hair no longer looked like a mess but was back in the curls that she usually maintained. Sadness still filled her eyes but this time there was a spark of something else in them: hope. Hope that one day they would bring Barry back to them, bring him back to her.
Alex set down the coffees and walked up to the two men. She looked at Cisco first and stuck her arm up and out for him to grab. It wasn't close enough to an apology that he deserved, but it was enough for him. Cisco accepted her hand and squeezed it with a grin on his face. Wally had done the same when she turned to him.
Alex had turned to Iris next. Barry was her best friend for almost her entire life, this was just as hard on her and Alex neglected to see that. The blonde opened her arms, hoping that Iris would accept the hug that she offered. Without hesitation, the two girls embraced, they needed to be strong together for Barry.
Barry was the heart and soul of this team. He was the one that had brought them all together, and they couldn't let his legacy disappear right along with him. Alex needed to make sure that his sacrifice wasn't in vain. Barry had given himself up so she could finally live the life that she was meant to: surrounded by friends.
An alarm went off, signaling that they had a meta to attend to. Alex shifted into her suit for the first time in a while, the familiar glimmer that started at her feet and went all the way up to the top of her head started. Lightening flickered behind her eyes and this time, it wasn't out of fear and sadness, it was out of hope and determination.
"Mirage is back, baby!"
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Mirage
Fanfiction"You never needed me on this team, not from the start. The Flash is what this city needs, and I can never be it. That's just the reality of it, Bare. I'll never be enough for anyone." Alex Holt changed her future once before, now she's being tested...