𝖬𝖾𝗋𝖾𝖽𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝖶𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗁𝖾𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋 | 𝖲𝗎𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗇𝖺𝗍𝗎𝗋𝖺𝗅

Empty Green eyes pt.1

Meredith-18

*Month 1*

When Dean died Sam had tried to keep it together. He tried to put on a brave face for Meredith's sake, but he couldn't. He had never in his whole life remembered being so angry, so thirsty for revenge. He wanted Lilith dead and he was determined to kill her, but he couldn't do it with Meredith around. He needed his space to grieve and to morn. Seeing her just reminded him of Dean and it caused him pain. When he told her that he was leaving to hunt down Lilith she was furious. She screamed and yelled at him trying to convince him to let her go, but it did no good. Sam had left her, again. When she watched him drive away she had felt like she had not only lost Dean, but Sam too. She stood in Bobby's driveway for what felt like hours. She couldn't bring herself to move. She felt numb, she felt paralyzed.

It had been a 2 weeks since Sam left. Meredith was heartbroken, but she was still hopeful. She was hopeful that Sam would come back and say that he was sorry and that he wasn't thinking. Sometimes she would sit on Bobby's porch and stare out into nothing, hoping that she would hear the sound of the Impala. But she never did. She put her focus on Sam to try and block out Dean. She couldn't think about him. It hurt too much. So she sat on that porch and waited. The days blurred together and she felt like she could no longer keep track of time.

*Month 2*

By the second month Meredith was a wreck. She never left her bed and she always cried. She had nightmares every night of Dean being torn to shreds by hellhounds. She dreamed of him being tortured in hell and she remembered his empty green eyes when she cried for him. She wondered where Sam was and what he was doing, or if he was even alive for that matter. He hadn't called her or texted once. She barely ate and she couldn't bring herself to take a shower. She figured Bobby could even smell her. Bobby had tried to get her to open up and talk about her feelings, but she never responded. She never talked. It took to much energy and when she did, she just felt like crying again.

Stefan had texted her multiple times but she never replied. He was beyond worried about her but he understood. If he ever lost his dad he would feel the same way. Ellen and Joe had tried calling her too. They left voicemails saying that they were there if she ever needed anything. She knew everyone was just being nice, but she couldn't help but feel annoyed. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to rot in the bed and drown in her feelings.