TF2 X Reader Oneshots & Imagines

Soldier x Emotionless Reader ~ Blame (Oneshot)

WARNING: contains self harm

These feelings were nothing new to you. You had practically grown up your whole life with that shadow always at your heel...but recently things have gotten worse...much worse...you laid in your room, as you had done most nights recently, just staring at the ceiling. Silent tears fell from your face...but you felt nothing...your demons weren't ever sad or angry or hell even disgusted...your demons...felt nothing...when they came around it was like the air around you became cold. Your eyes turned dull and your face stopped holding any type of emotion. Tears would just fall. You could do nothing to stop them. You almost found comfort in them as they gave some type of sensation to your face. You always felt that you became heavier during the episodes. To the point where you didn't even want to get up for food. You just felt cold...so...cold...but your body didn't want to even move enough to grab a blanket...it just wanted to stay and do nothing. Feel nothing. Usually you took pills to keep the demons away...but recently you stopped...you stopped caring...what was the point of fighting the demons away when they always so easily won?...that wasn't the entire reason you had stopped them though...Ms. Pauling had forgotten to give them to you the last time she came around and, due to her being the only one you really trusted with that information, there was no one who could get it from her. You would have went to collect it yourself if it weren't for the fact that you at least knew better than to drive in your current state...the last time you almost couldn't fight the urge to swerve off the side of the road...just to feel something...anything...Ms. Pauling wouldn't be back with your pills for another three months so you just had to pull through till then...but it has already been a month and the others were definitely starting to notice your change of attitude...

The next day in battle...

You felt like you were carrying a whole other person on your back. All you wanted to do was fall over and not get back up...but that wasn't an option...your team was currently pushing the cart but you were nowhere to be seen, as per usual. You were more equipped for picking off enemies that strayed too far from the fight so being in the middle of the action was never good for you. With only a couple minutes on the clock your team was one last good push away from winning. They were fully distracted with the cart and you were off still looking for a flanking Pyro, Scout or Spy...at least that's what you were supposed to be doing...you were instead trying your goddamn hardest not to fall head first into the emotionless pit. You patrolled but your brain was so disconnected from what you were doing that you literally went face first into the enemy Scouts bat. It knocked you out, but it was really the second hit that killed you. After a few seconds you found yourself in respawn...a sense of absolute dread washed over you...in a matter of only a few minutes your team had joined you as the administrator announced-

"You've failed" As soon as Soldier showed up he frantically looked around until locking eyes with you...that set off a reaction in your brain and you felt yourself lose to the cold once again. Your face showed nothing. No regret, no frustration, no anger...nothing...Soldier stomped over to you as some of the others took their leave to brood over the loss. Heavy, Scout and Sniper stayed either to watch the show or make sure it didn't go too far

"MAGGOT! WHERE WERE YOU!" You gave no reaction, instead taking a seat against the wall, not even looking at him
"ANSWER ME WHEN I SPEAK TO YOU!" Still nothing. The other men in the room grew worried. You always made sure that everyone knew you wouldn't be taking their shit, even if you made a mistake, especially Soldier...but now you didn't even react to him...Soldier had no idea how to take this. He almost always got a reaction! at least a glare!...but you didn't even look at him...
"I WILL NOT BE IGNORED! YOU WILL ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW OR IT WILL BE FORTY LAPS AROUND THE BUILDING FOR YOU!" That seemed to have gotten your attention, but not in the way he expected. You stood from your spot on the floor and he was prepared for you to hit him or start yelling...but you did neither...you instead left out the respawn doors and began running. He was left utterly confused along with the others...not even Scout would have taken fourty laps around the building, especially right after battle! Soldier wasn't even serious about it. It was more of an empty threat to get a response...but you were actually doing it...Soldier was pulled between being angry that you wouldn't even acknowledge him and concerned that you would rather do fourty laps then talk about it. So he left the room in an angry huff. He walked inside the main building mumbling curses under his breath. The other three men were left to wonder what the hell just happened...