Are You Sh!tting Me (Modern Cliches, #3)

The Hug Upgrade

In which I get home with my mind made up to kick Jake out only to find Jake had helped clear out the basement of rats before he gave me one of the nicest hugs I have ever had. Seems my libido is awake and thinks a broken pelvis would be fucking worth it.

Why am I such a fucking sucker for blue eyes?

~~~~

Work was finally over and I was thankful for it. I was exhausted and even though Marissa took over a fair amount of work for the day, I was still wiped out. Then again only three hours of sleep would do that to you. As much as I did appreciate Trisha showing up to bring me lunch, I was still just wiped. I shifted in my bus seat and sighed, I hadn't really figured out what to do with the surfer vampire that I had waiting for me in my apartment. I wondered if he was going to be asleep, the sun was still up and I knew there were a few hours left till it set completely. Then again, I didn't know vampires functioned so it was still new to me.

My stop came and I grabbed my bag, getting off of the bus. I slowly headed towards my apartment, practically dragging my feet as I did so. I was fucking exhausted and all I wanted to do was get home and flop onto my bed. I honestly hated my insomnia, I hated it so much. I sometimes got so tired I burst into tears, I couldn't help it. Being tired and exhausted all the time sucked ass and it really dragged you down emotionally.

My apartment building came into view and I sighed in relief but then the creeping thought of the vampire came into my mind. I froze into place as I blinked rapidly.

There was a fucking vampire in my apartment.

I groaned and rubbed at my face, feeling exhausted about the thought of dealing with that entire situation. I tried to put a positive spin on it, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad and I could figure it out. Everything would go smoothly and nothing could go wrong.

With that thought I started walking again. It would be fine and I could figure it out. The first thing I wanted to do was to tell Jake that he needed to go. I did not want to have to deal with a vampire in my home. It was just too much craziness and I could see it making my insomnia that much worse. I couldn't have that, it was already driving me insane as it was. I wanted to get away from whatever version or reality I was stuck in and then pretend it never existed.

The second thing I needed to do was get a screen for my window and to figure out how to keep my room cold without the window being open. I didn't want anymore creeps crawling inside my room at three in the morning. I nodded to myself, it was a good plan and I knew that I could do it. I could get it all figured out and I could go back to my regular schedule and never have to worry about vampires ever again. Just write it all off as a delusion. I liked the sound of that.

I entered my apartment building and caught the elevator to the sixth floor. I gave a long and slow blink as the elevator pulled me upwards. I tried to fight back a yawn but was unsuccessful and I shook my head as it trailed off. As soon as I kicked Jake out of my apartment, i could do my best to have a sleep and perhaps actually get more than three hours in. I liked the sound of that and I could practically hear my bed calling my name.

The elevator stopped and I pulled out my keys as I walked towards my apartment. I froze as I spotted Jake sitting next to my door, looking decidedly dejected. As if he heard my approach he lifted his head and his blue eyes met mine and he grinned wide as he stood up. "Sammi!" My heart flipped in my chest and I nearly stuttered at how genuinely excited he looked to see me. "I helped out your handyman with a rat problem in the basement today. He's a pretty chill dude, he came to the apartment to give a notice about the infestation and I answered. But don't worry, I helped him sort it out but then I realized I didn't have a key so I've been sitting here waiting for you!" He practically bounced up and down as he grinned at me and I blinked, feeling all sorts of out of sorts.

"Does he know that you are..." I trailed off before pointing at my mouth as I curled my lip up to expose my teeth. "You know..." At that he shook his head.

"No, no! I told the dude I used to be an pest guy and had a lot of tricks but I worked best alone and in the dark. Dude seemed pretty chill to leave me be and I was happy because I got fed! So no worrying about my trying to go all gnarly Dracula on you in the middle of the night again. Which totally wasn't cool lookin' back at it, sorry again, Sammi. Totally not cool. Totally creepy."

I gave a heavy sigh, closing my eyes. This had to end, there was no way I could live with the chaos that having a fucking vampire in my apartment would bring. "Listen, Jake." I closed my mouth, trying to formulate what I needed to say in the most polite way possible.

"Before you say anything, I just wana let you know I fixed your fan and that you are totally chill, and cute, and thank you so much for letting me stay with you!" He said it quickly and I cracked open my eyes to look at him with another sigh. He clasped his hands in front of him and rocked back and forth on his feet as he smiled at me. "I totally wanna hug you but I don't wanna squish you like I did yesterday but I really just wanna hug someone you know?" He clenched his hands together and I blinked at him, opening my eyes wider as something in the vicinity of my chest melted.

Why the fuck did he have to be so stunningly cute like that? I knew it would have been far better if he had been dark and brooding, I would have had an easier time kicking him out if he was. I couldn't really stand broody people but cute, earnest, and sweet? I was fucked.

"Can I?" He lifted his hands slightly. "I've been practising." He held out his hands towards me and I nodded without thinking and before I knew it was I wrapped up in a tight but not uncomfortable hug. I could feel him pressed up against me and my libido seemed to wake up from its grave as my blood started to heat in my veins. That hug was far too nice. He let out an almost relieved sounding sigh and his touch tightened a fraction more, but not enough for discomfort, before he let me go. He grabbed my shoulders and grinned at me again "See? I am getting better! Getting used to this whole thing! Can we go in?" He let his hands drop to gesture to the door and I nodded faintly.

I opened the door, feeling a bit faint and unsettled. I was supposed to kick him out but I was even a bigger sucker than I thought. I shifted in the door way and Jake moved past me with another grin as he gave me another thank you. I shut the door slowly, hating how my libido was suddenly coming to the forefront by demanding some vampire dick. I was so fucked.

Mainly because the first thought in my head wasn't a no, it was if Jake can learn to hug me properly, maybe I won't end up with a broken pelvis after all.

This is why you could never trust me in a horror movie scenario. I would end up dying just for some dick because I'm fucking stupid and stupidly fucking.