Stavros 6: CLOSER

15

They know that you are the heart, sunshine.

Hangang ngayon ay paulit-ulit sa isipan ko ang sinabi nyang iyon sa sasakyan kanina. Hindi na kami muling nag-usap pa pagdating namin dito sa Casa Rosalia. Hinatid ako ni Annie sa isang guestroom at si Hades naman ay hindi ko alam kung saan nagpunta ang dinig ko lamang ay nagbilin itong wag syang aabalahin kung hindi importante. Hindi ito sumabay sa dinner kanina at si Annie ang nagsagawa ng check-up drill sa akin kani-kanina lamang. Ininform din ako nito tungkol sa flight namin sa makalawa patungo sa susunod naming destinasyon...Dubai.

Hindi ako makatulog ngayon dahil bukod sa binabagabag ako ng mga salitang iyon na hindi ko naman maintindihan kung ano ang kahulugan ay hindi ako komportable sa tinutuluyan namin ngayon. My heart aches in sadness and pain when I stepped my feet inside this Casa and I cannot find the reason of feeling such. My heart is acting strange this past days..

When I was young, nana told me that heart is one of the mysterious piece of a human being. It can make you feel variety of unnamed emotions that might lead you somewhere you never imagine. Hindi ko pinansin noon iyon dahil naniniwala ako na hindi ko mararanasan ang sinasabi nito... Having a weak and dying heart at young age then entertaining such is out of the list. Ang gusto ko lang naman noon ay gumaling at masamahan si nana hanggang sa pagtanda nito...but here I am now...

They know that you are the heart, sunshine.

I groaned frustratedly and kicked the comforted away from me! I even crumpled my hair before I sat down and glared at the balcony door. "You are invading my privacy, demonyo ka!" Gigil kong bulong sa sarili while thinking Hades' annoying face!

Huminga ako ng malalim at nagdesisyong magtungo muna sa balkonahe upang makasagad ng sariwang hangin.Niyakap ko ang aking sarili ng humihip ang malamig na simoy ng hangin... I am wearing a terno silk PJ... Napatingin ako sa paligid... Ang balcony ng silid ko ay nasa tapat ng hardin ng Casa Rosalia. Mayroong infinity pool sa kanang bahagi nito . This mansion is Ms. Rosalie dream home. Naalala ko noon, tinanong nya ako tungkol sa dream home ko and she was so excited when she found out that we share common dream. Then when Hades proposed to her, Casa Rosalia was his gift to her. I remember how Ms Rosalie's eyes sparks with so much love and happiness when she shared that special moment to me though there was a certain loneliness in her voice or I was just imagining things that time. Yes, Ms. Rosalie is a dear friend to me. I met her through Hades. She was then his girlfriend. She's simple, sweet and thoughtful lady kaya nga ba't gustung gusto ko siya para kay Hades noon. Hindi naman ako nabigo sa kanila dahil sila ang nagkatuluyan but my favorite love story ended in the saddest way... Kasabay niyon ang pagkawasak ng pagkakaibigan namin ni Hades. Mariin akong napapikit upang iwaglit ang alaalang iyon... I want to stopped the hate for him. I want to live peacefully once this deal is done. I want to start a new... And to do that, I have to learn how to let go of the painful past and I'll start on forgiving Hades...

Pero paano? I know I am feeling something that I refused to name for him but it doesn't enough for me to let my anger, grudge, and pain go. He stole my chance to pay my last respect for nana... He left me even he promised that he will be there for me on my surgery. I let my anger for him grow in me... Kaya hindi ko alam kung paano ko iyon ipapaagos sa dagat ng paglimot lalo na at iyon ang aking naging sandigan at lakas para magpatuloy sa buhay ko. I made revenge as my purpose in life. Kaya nahihirapan pa rin ako. Kaya siguro tuwing binibigyan nya ako ng dahilan upang makaramdam ng saya ay kumikirot ang puso ko... Kaya siguro sa bawat ligaya na idinudulot nito ay may kaakibat laging sakit sa parte ko.

That whole night spent thinking about those things...halos wala akong tulog dahil doon. Nagising na lamang ako nang sumunod na umaga sa katok nina Annie at Hades na tila kabado at alalang alala... Dinig ko pa ang pagpapakuha ng huli sa susi kaya kahit antok na antok pa ako at nakapikit pa ay bumangon ako upang buksan ang pinto, nabungaran ko ang alalang alalang mukha ng dalawa . Hades worried face turned to frustrated one when he realized something while staring at me. My heart jumped when he throw a blazing glare at me. Wait? Did I missed something?