A Doe in Buck's Clothing (Louis x Reader)

32: Powerful Words From A Weak Beast

Well, technically, you both did. At the same time.

"How is--"

"Louis?"

"Haru?"

You both awkwardly turned away from each other.

"He's fine. Busy." You admitted quietly.

"She's kind of sad. But better off without me." He also spoke quietly. "Hey..."

"Yeah?" You sat down, with a sigh. "And sorry for Pina. He's always like that."

"No, it's fine. I wanted to apologize. Genuinely." he sat next to you. "And thank you. You not only saved my life, but after I jerked your heart around. A lot. I'm not sure why you even put up with being around me. You could easily have your friends in drama club kick me out."

"No, I couldn't. I'm not that influential. I'm not--"

"Louis. Right. And neither is Pina." He nodded. "But I don't want to get distracted. I need to say this to you. I've been meditating on it for weeks now. I overlooked your happiness in an attempt to make myself happy, only to realize that my happiness lies in yours. I am so sorry, please forgive me. I have more issues then I could possibly count. And on my worse days, I'll go from happy to sad in seconds. I don't always like myself, and sometimes I assume no one else likes me either. I pushed you away... but I promise you this, nobody could ever even think about loving you as much as I do. Not Louis, not Pina, not another maned wolf. But I don't want you to do anything.  I'm just in front of you saying I'm sorry for that night. Not for my actions, but for everything I did after them. It makes me hate myself even more. And I can't ask you for anything in that state. Like, how do I use the words, 'I'm sorry' when I know that words are not enough to express my mistake? And how can I ask you to forgive me when I know I can't forgive myself? Sorry doesn't prove anything unless you mean it... I know that. Everything is my fault, I'll take all the blame. And I'm going to fix it. But I need time. It's hard for me to say this butI just want you to stay. I know you can't and you're not meant to be here right now... But I can't bear the thought of never seeing you again. Or even worse, watching you grow up with someone else. So now, with a bruised heart and a deflated ego... with sad soul and my head hung low... I apologize to you unconditionally. I never meant to cause you any sorrow. I never meant to cause you any pain. I feel ashamed for what I did. I don't have any excuses. I did what I did. I take full responsibility for myself and my actions. I won't pawn this off on anybody. I'm sorry it happened. And that I hurt someone as precious as you. And now, that I'm asking you to wait for me. I'm not saying I won't fuck up again. We might even spend a lot of time apart... more than I want... but... take your time. Don't worry. I'll wait forever, if that is what it'll take for you to forgive me. I love you."

You looked up at him with those eyes once again. Those eyes that looked so forcefully empty, but so sorely disappointed at the same time.

"I'll see you at drama club, Legoshi."

And you left.