Unnatural blue II A. KNIGHT

026

░▒▓█▓▒░ Skylar and Ryan only have a day left in Houston before they have to leave. Ryan is excited to leave Houston, mostly because he hopes the memories of Awsten can be left here when they go. As much as Skylar tries to hide it, Ryan can tell that she's hurting. He knows she's not okay, despite all the fake smiles. In his mind, leaving the city will put all this pain behind them. They can forget about him and be happy in a whole new life. "Mommy," Ryan gets her attention as she goes about some last minute packing, "how often d'you think Christy and Josh are gonna visit? D'you think they'll come a lot?" "Christy says they will," Skylar answers as she tapes up a box. "But it depends on a lot of things, money and work and time." "Josh told me that if Christy wants to they'll move out there. He says his work'll give him a transfer," Ryan rambles on, "and Christy wants to but she said she doesn't wanna leave her mom all alone and she doesn't know if she can get her mom to leave 'cause her mom loves it here a lot and she says New York gets too cold. Does it really snow there? Like real snow? I wanna build snow people! And when school starts I'll make lots of friends! Oh! I can have sleepovers like we have with Christy and it'll be fun!" "Lots of fun," Skylar replies with a quiet hum, working on filling another box. "Speaking of Christy and Josh, you're gonna go over to their house for a few hours tonight. I've got a few things to do." "Why can't I go with you?" "Just 'cause. It's not fun stuff anyway; you won't be missing much, I promise." ●☆●☆●☆●☆● A while later, Skylar arrives at Awsten's. This is a bad idea. A really, really bad idea. Then again, it was a bad idea coming over last night and two nights before that and the day before that and three nights in a row two days before that and for nearly a week straight after their breakup and few more times along the line. In all fairness, most of the times, she was invited. Two or three times she just showed up, which he seemed happy about. She knocks on the door when she arrives and he quickly lets her in. Usually, they just talk but tonight already feels different. Almost as soon as the door is closed, they're kissing as if their lives depend on it. After what seems like forever yet still somehow not long enough, they pull away but remain close to each other. "Missed you," Awsten mumbles, "missed you so fucking much." "Missed you too," Skylar mumbles, her fingers in his soft blue hair. They stumble back towards his bedroom, Awsten's lips never leaving Skylar's. They both know somewhere in the back of their minds that this is probably the worst thing they could be doing right now but neither of them has it in themselves to care. This is the last time they'll see each other and they can't seem to stop what they're doing. "I l—" Skylar starts off, only to have Awsten lean down to silence her with yet another kiss. He pulls away, a bit out of breath. "Don't say it," he tells her, his voice shaking slightly, "I can't...saying that will make this all more difficult than it already is. Neither of us need that so please just don't fucking say it." He doesn't give her a chance to agree or disagree, kissing her again. It doesn't get brought up again that night. By the time it's all over and done with, they're laying together in Awsten's bed, side by side and covered only by a thin sheet. Awsten is the one to break the silence. "Don't go," he says quietly, his voice shaking. He refuses to look at her and she finds herself not really wanting to look at him. It'd just make this more difficult. "Don't go. Please, I'll do anything if you stay. Anything, I promise, anything you want, I'll do it just as long as you stay." "You know I can't," Skylar responds quietly, "I gotta do this. I'm sorry." "Right," Awsten mumbles, trying to push down his emotions. "Right, yeah, of course. Shouldn't have asked." "Awsten—" "You should go, you gotta pick up Ryan. You're leaving pretty early tomorrow. You should get some sleep." Skylar only nods, not trusting herself to actually speak without bursting into tears. She gets cleaned up and gets dressed and she leaves. She leaves without saying goodbye because goodbye would hurt too much. She leaves without saying I love you because I love you would kill them both. She leaves without saying a word because there isn't any word worth destroying both of their worlds to say. ░▒▓█▓▒░