𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙤𝙣 » 𝙟𝙤𝙨𝙝𝙡𝙚𝙧

¡ eleven !

Mentions of self-harm but not actually doing it

The next chapter should be longer! I know I keep doing short chapters but it's just easier for me to write but I swear the next one should be longer, also because I want to get some more Joshler action going

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It was hard for Josh to focus on anything with the small but yet healing incisions calling for attention beneath his sleeves. Josh has been weeks clean but with Ryan at school and without the brunet to distract him, it was very tempting for Josh to go find anything sharp and add to the marks. Just as he was about to search for any razors and wipe away the weeks of being clean, Josh heard the faint click of the front door and Ryan calling out that they were back. Josh let out a sigh of relief but stayed put on Ryan's bed, he knew once he stepped foot out of the room he would go straight to the bathroom and pull down his sleeves so instead he waited patiently while trying to ignore the pestering thoughts of self-harm.

Ryan knew something was up when he caught sight of Josh and he had a feeling he knew what by how Josh was fidgeting with his sweatshirt sleeves. It's been a while since Ryan had seen Josh like this so Ryan simply told Brendon to leave (which Brendon just nodded in understanding), set his bag down in his computer chair, and coaxed Josh into his arms once he sat down next to the fidgeting boy. Ryan didn't flinch when Josh threw himself at the brunet and immediately started to cry (it happened a few times when Ryan was caught off guard in the past) but Ryan just coddled the boy and reassured him, telling Josh how strong he was and how proud he was for being clean. It hurt Ryan seeing his friend like this and it was hard for Ryan to focus in class knowing that Josh was alone in his room with easy access to sharp objects but he knew Josh was strong enough to take care of himself and to get clean by himself but Ryan made a promise that he was going to be next to Josh every step of the way.

"Wanna watch some Disney Movies? We can make a fort on my bed and I can get some popcorn." Josh loosened his grip on the brunet but didn't fully let go, nodding his head rather than speaking because he knew his voice would give out on him before he could get a word out.

Ryan smiled softly, "I'll call Brendon so he can help but it'll just be me and you ok?" Josh nodded his head again and let Ryan manhandled him into a laying position, snuggling up with the blankets when Ryan tucked him in. It wasn't rare for Josh to be tired after breaking down so when Ryan went out to make the call, Josh didn't hesitate to close his eyes.

A nap wouldn't hurt.

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Josh didn't know how long he slept for but when he woke up cuddled up against Ryan and "Beauty and the Beast" playing on tv, Josh sighed contently and cuddled up closer. The curtains were closed but he could tell it was night. Ryan wasn't surprised that Josh slept through two movies, it happened a lot more than you think but Ryan was just glad to see his friend relaxed and content.

The fort was quite easy to build even though Josh was sleeping on the bed but Ryan and Brendon managed without any mishaps, Ryan just thanked the lord that Josh was a heavy sleeper. It was really comfy and Ryan found himself nodding off every once and a while, he only woke up completely when Josh woke up himself.

"Hey there, how are you feeling?" Josh felt himself being absorbed in the movie for a bit before answering, "Better, jus' really tired." Ryan nodded at that, "Tomorrow's the last day of suspension, do you think you'd be able to go back?"

Josh thought about that for a second. First off, yes he had to go back or else he'll probably be expelled (it's happened before to other students) but on the other hand, he would have to deal with that pestering demon name Tyler and he was getting tired of letting Tyler control him.

Josh nodded and whispered, "Yeah, I'll go."

Ryan could tell Josh didn't want to but he decided against bringing it up so instead he reached for the remote and turned up the volume. They can just pretend that everything is fine for the time being and they seem pretty content on doing so.