Broken

Left

"I just don't think I want to be touched," I say after he holds me for a few moments. 

"That's fine," he whispers, "I'll sleep on the floor tonight." 

I watch as he makes himself a bed on the floor beside my side of the bed, "I love you," he says as he hunkers down to go to sleep, "I love you too," I whisper as I lay down in bed. 

It takes me hours to try and fall asleep, but I can't. I can hear Carl snoring softly from his spot beside me. 

I sit up in bed with a sigh and I grab a pair of pants off the floor before I leave the room, no one is in the hall. 

I take a leap of faith as I walk down the hall to Maggie's old room. I knock gently, no answer. I knock again, nothing. I open the door to find the room covered in a thin layer of dust. 

I walk through the room, Maggie's desk is still here, Hershel's cradle, the one that Daryl made is in the corner. 

I walk past all of it to get to the door on the other side of the room. I open it, Maggie and I spent so many nights on this balcony before Michonne shut us down. I place my hands on the rail and breathe in the humid summer air, it smells of rain and wet dirt.

No one has been out here for awhile, at least I don't think anyone has. I remember the last time I sat out here with Maggie. 

I watch the yard, Connie is sitting at one of the picnic tables. I hear Daryl and Tara talking, I can't make out what they're saying but it sounds urgent. 

I watch Daryl as he whistles for Dog, they both rush toward the gate. Connie stands and jogs to catch up with him, she stops him by placing a hand on his chest. 

They write back and forth for a moment before Daryl shrugs his shoulders. Connie smiles as she follows him out the gates. 

I frown as I turn to leave the balcony, I run out of the room and down the stairs. Tara is in the main hall. "Where are Daryl and Connie going?" I ask, "Oh," she mutters as she rubs her eyes. 

"Henry left, probably to try and find that girl," Tara says. "So they went to find him?" I ask, "Yeah, they'll meet us at the Fair tomorrow." 

I nod, "You're going right?" she asks, "Yeah, I have to go to Alexandria first but I'll meet you at Gresten street checkpoint," I say. "Got it," she says. 

I go back up to my room, Carl is still snoring on the floor. I tiptoe toward him, he doesn't wake up as I sit on the floor beside him. 

"Where were you?" he asks, after a moment. I stare at him in the pale light coming from the window, "I couldn't sleep," I say, "Come here," he says as he lifts the covers.

"I'm sorry about earlier," I say as I lay down next to him. "You have nothing to be sorry for, Elaine," Carl whispers as he wraps his arms around me, "Nothing," he whispers. I turn onto my side, "Don't do it," Carl mutters, "Do what?" I ask. 

"Put your stupidly cold feet on me," he says. "How else am I supposed to warm them up?" I question as I press the bottoms of my feet to his thighs. He lets out a sigh but he doesn't move his legs away from mine. 

"I'm going back," I say to Carl as I put my bag on the bed, I shove my things inside it. "I guessed," he says, "Only to go get Mika and Julia," I say.

I zip up my bag, "What?" he asks as he stares at me.

"You're right, they need us here now more than ever. With Daryl and Connie out looking for Henry, Earl on leave, Tammy has the new baby. The Fair, just everything, they could use a few extra sets of hands around here," I say, "It's temporary but it needs to happen," I tell him.