Broken

Out

I sit on the bathroom floor of the infirmary, puking into the toilet. I don't understand why they call it morning sickness. I feel the need to puke all the fucking time. 

Someone knocks on the door. I take a deep breath as I wipe my mouth.

"It's me," Alex says from the other side of the bathroom door. 

"What do you need?" I ask as I flush the toilet, "You've been in there puking for almost twenty minutes. I just wanted to check on you," Alex says.

I get up off the floor, "I'm fine," I say as I wash my hands. 

I exit the bathroom, "Maybe you should go home, we don't need a stomach bug outbreak," he says.

"No one is going to get sick from me," I say. 

"Oh," Alex says, I sit on one of the beds. "You're pregnant?" he questions.

"You're smarter than I thought you were," I tease. 

"Very funny," he says, "How far along are you?" 

"Just got into the ninth week," I say. "Any weight gain, supposed to be 2-4 pounds right?" Alex asks as he pulls a chair over to sit across from me. 

"I haven't gained anything, I'm too busy puking it all up," I mutter.

"You're worried though what is it?" Alex asks, "There's no way to actually tell if the baby is healthy and it took so long to get pregnant. I've only told Rosita in case I lose the baby," I say. 

"You're healthy, Carl's healthy, Judith, RJ, and Mika, all healthy. I'd say the baby is gonna be fine," Alex says. 

"Not all of us work for your point," I say. "What?" Alex asks, "Our family situation is really complicated," I say. "I kinda guessed," he says. 

"When does the morning sickness normally stop?" Alex questions, "The second trimester," I say. 

Alex nods, "I'm sorry about last week," he says.

"I wasn't your fault," I say, "Yeah but Carl's been gone for almost a week," Alex says.

I nod, "Michonne and Daryl are looking for him." 

"If you ever need anything, I am here for you," Alex says, "You were there for me when I wanted to come here from Sanctuary." 

I smile, "You were there for a lot of us actually," he says.

"I tried, my brother lived there for a long time before I got him back," I say. 

"I remember him," Alex says, "He was living with Alicia L. right?" the man asks, "Yeah," I say.

"I wanted to help who I could, can you tell me something?" I question.

Alex nods, "Did Negan have a lot of contact with Johna?" I ask, Alex looks away in thought. 

After a moment he looks back at me, "I think they had dinner every Friday with the wives, they treated him really well," Alex tells me. 

"I wish he was still here," I whisper as I look at my hands.

Alex grabs my hand, "You've lost a lot, I wish I could take it away," he says. 

I swallow hard, "I don't know if I can take any more," I say. 

"I won't-."

I stand when the door opens. 

"Hey," Mazie says as she puts her books on the table, "I have a lesson today, right?" she asks, "Yeah you do," I say as I smile at her.