My Best Friends Wedding

Guilty Pleasure

We went to a quiet restaurant and sat for a long time in silence. I was still trying to process what had just happened. I was also nervous. It wasn't like people in this town didn't know I was dating Rick. That was what happens when you date a high powered attorney with tons of pull around here. That's why it was so hard to leave him. I'm sure people around here knew the things that happened behind closed doors at our house, but because of who he was they looked the other way.

"What are you thinking about over there?"

He was smiling at me. I half smiled and looked back down at the menu trying to figure out what I was going to eat...if I could eat at all

"Uh...well...thinking about this situation I'm in right now. Rick...you...it's complicated Jon. I can't just up and leave him you know. It doesn't work like that. Not with Rick"

Jon laughed and shook his head looking at the menu.

"Madison I never said I wanted to be with you. I just told you how I felt. I didn't say I wanted anything more with you."

"What? Then what the hell was all that back at the creek?? I mean...all the things you said...I..."

I swallowed hard trying to hold back the tears. Why did he always have to fuck with my head and my emotions? My entire life with him has just been one big mind fuck. I threw my napkin on the table and pushed back. He reached out grabbing my hand watching me. His intense blue eyes staring at me, begging me not to go. The tears were stinging my eyes and I was doing everything I could to keep them from falling. He stood and laughed squeezing my hand

"Maddy...calm down. Sit. I was teasing you. Come on. You have no sense of humor anymore"

"That wasn't funny" I muttered

"It was funny to me" He chuckled

I felt my blood boiling as the tears stopped. I was mad. I was so tired of being dragged all over the emotional roller-coaster with him. I loved him and he didn't even really care. He just liked the idea of having someone in never ending love with him. I didn't want to cause a scene. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that I was out with another man, but I couldn't take the shit anymore

"You know what Jon? Fuck you! You've messed with my emotions and my head my entire life. You love me. You don't love me. You want to be with me. You're marrying someone else. Just stop! What do you want?! What do you want from me?? Anything??? Is this just because you like the idea of having someone hanging on??? I fucking love you and you don't even really care at all."

I pushed back from the table and stormed out of the restaurant. I didn't want anymore of the crap. I just wanted to go back home. My life may suck and I may have an awful boyfriend, but at least he is consistent with his feelings. Jon followed close behind me and grabbed my arm pulling me back to him. I looked up at him and searched his face. He smiled at me and cupped my face in his hands and kissed me.

Jon pulled me closer at the hips and kissed me deeper. I winced slightly at the pain from him unknowingly grabbing the bruises. He pulled back and looked at me concerned. I hated the way he was looking at me. It felt like pity and I didn't want the pity. I half smiled and went over to his car and leaned against the passenger side and sighed

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Why?"

"You winced when I grabbed your hip. What's wrong? Did I hurt you??"

"I'm fine. It's nothing. I promise."

I leaned towards him and kissed him again. My fingers ran though his hair as my eyes closed. I'd missed this so much and it suddenly didn't matter who saw what I was doing. Deep down I knew Rick was going to find out, but I just didn't care in this moment. I wanted him and needed him desperately and I knew that he knew that. He pushed me back against the car and pressed himself against me. I moaned in the kiss gripping tighter to his hair. He pulled back slightly and smiled whispering