The slave

chapter fourteen

A letter, a soul, a thought, another world of my own!

As I watched my belly it was being big as days goes on...

I didn't know what I had to do with this child of the colonies who hurt us, took our land changed our lives into a terrible mess...
I cried all night long asking myself what I was going to do with that baby I was carrying in my womb and to the other side Jesper was having an affair with the colonial queen was I going to reveal the truth to Jes per that I slept with lord stark for his rescue!!!

Ooh no!! this was hard for me to do so I choose to keep my mouth shut,
Then the next morning the queen went and deleted the name of Jesper in the slavery records and set him free...

In late the evening that's when I saw him leaving without even leaving a farewell.. ...

The evening I felt done, the night I felt it was all over, the ones I loved I saw them leaving me " the ones I cared for left me lonely with thousand tones of problems and questions that had no answers "

A million worries of how tomorrow might be "!. All I had in mind wasn't regrets wasn't sure of all I had in me " only I felt so terrible of everything that was going on!!..

And God was watching too! The God they taught us " I mean missionaries who came in our land came with wide preach of the word of God!

And that God we believed in was seeing everything with his eyes " all we did wish for ourselves happened day by day, and terrible ones.

Trouble, death, misery, hunger, torture, heavy working night and days, feeling tired in our hearts, ...

Feeling wanting to perish from all those sad lives but we had nowhere to fly to!

Felt like we had somewhere to scream and cry out loud but there was nowhere!!

Our world was full of pain, orphanage life, poorly living, bad memories, rules that even no one was able to follow, ...

We became invisible hence we were visible " our world before that was a shining star " in a night sky, ...
White clouds in a blues sky!

A rise of a sun showing a happy new day,! But at last, all those turned into a dark world " an invisible one " a crazy one, and a scary one!

But we were people " we wanted to see the light again" but we couldn't find anywhere we will get a single one to lighten the whole world we were living in

Days went by I had to overcome it I was pregnant " and I had to hide it " It was a hard thing to get pregnant by then " those colonizers  told us that it is prohibited to get pregnant " those who got pregnancies were killed with their child "

I wasn't going to reveal everything, at last as I choose to fight for the living " that was gonna take me to my grave too soon!

I had to fight no matter what!  Many things could have shown me an easy way to leave which was to escape but the last thing in it was to die!

So it means that if I tried to escape " then I would be digging my own grave "
I had to keep moving forward, I had to hold on no matter what "
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On the next day,"  lord stark comes back to the land of Katanga ... The queen told him that one slave died, last night and that they burned his corpse!

He looked like he wanted to get the whole explanation of how he died!

The queen fabricated a lot of things and told him " that the other animal that tried to attack the queen " is the one that killed him...

At last, the lord agreed " and life kept moving on as normal "

We kept on being abused " no rights at all " paying taxes were obligated to everyone ... If they found you without coins for taxation, they could beat you to death!

Hence we had no living at all, hunger was everywhere except in their palace. They used to eat and throw them in rubbishy places, people who were dying of hunger could fight so hard for those remaining so that they live "...

Children died of a lot of diseases that were not even cured !.

All healthy medicines were brought to cure their people, soldiers children's and wives.

So we had to stand up and fight that was the last thing we could do "

We had two options " to be killed by hunger, and everything out there or die fighting for freedom in our land.

We looked broken but we had ways to fix ourselves back to the normality of a human being " not to be treated like animals ...

The whole day I pretended that I was okay works started to be hard for me to work well, the pregnancy was growing day by day "

I was getting weak day by day " I felt so tired, getting sickness in me.

In three weeks. I received a letter from Jesper "

Someone to my area where I used to rest in " and knocked on my door gave me a letter "

I was hoping this letter could explain everything to me "

About him and all his choices in life ", all secrets of him he hid deeply, all sorts of thoughts he had " before he left, the reason he chooses to leave without saying goodbye!

I took a moment to breathe a little bit, I felt like I was suffocating from getting this letter " I sat down ... And opened the letter to read!!!

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Sarna, I love you, three simple words, and yet never uttered or inscribed in ink by me to another living soul only to you I will never love other as I love you, I will never cherish other as I cherish you, I will always love only you.

This is the happiest day of my life because I am getting ready to be the hero for my country and to the one I loved the most, and the day that will be the best of all is the day I will be there next to you in peace and harmony,

Don't strike your heart into trouble just wait for me I will be coming for you,

The only way to rescue you into that enchanted world was for me to do whatever I did, I did hurt you I know! But there was no other way I did whatever it cost me!
I still see your face when I go to sleep, I know how it is hard to move on with my life, I hate that all memories of me cheating on you are so persistent...

All these memories come back every night " I hate that it will take time to forget this ...
But I know whatever I did I always loved you and you always loved me,

Even my life won't hesitate to stick on the best for all of us my love

Hope the letter will find you safe and sound my love, hold on fewer days I will be there,

All these words coming from your love, written with deep affections and a heart full of missing thoughts just because of you!

From the loving' memories of Jesper and Sarna...

Yours Jesper

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Ooh my God!! I whispered " breathed harder again" felt this was running in me so deeply'!.