G/T One Shots

Mistake

She'd been on a Zoom call with friends when it happened. Anxiety had been heightened that week already, and she just pushed it aside as that when she opened a Snapchat that made her heart pound.

'We need to talk soon. But I don't think you'll like it'

She'd responded instantly with a half smile

'Okay... I'm kinda nervous now lol.'

And then he was typing for what seemed like eons. Her heart only grew more and more intense as she could faintly hear her friends laughing at a joke she missed. They didn't know what was going on.

That's okay. They didn't need to. She'd get over this.

She didn't realize that her body was shaking as the message came through. It was a block of text that took her a moment to read, but her eyes had skipped ahead. 'I'm sorry,' they saw, and she suddenly knew exactly what it meant.

He'd decided that he couldn't be with her anymore. Because she was asexual. Ace.

'Okay,' she sent, her friends still oblivious as her eyes watered.

'Okay?' He sent back, 'that's it?'

Her throat ached and she swallowed thickly. 'I'm trying to process.'

And that was when her friends noticed, as a tear fell from her eye. He'd told her that she wasn't actually ace. That she just wasn't confident.

And that stung because she'd told him how her father had dismissed her that way. How that had hurt her.

And now he was hurting her.

They went back and forth a bit, and she told her friends what was happening through tears.

She caught sight of the borrower she'd met some time ago, during a different breakup. He looked concerned, and she looked back to her screen and just cried.

God she hated crying. Even as her friends told her that it was okay to cry. That he didn't deserve her.

She disagreed. She felt broken and stupid. Stupid to think she could ever be happy.

God, she'd gotten too comfortable. Let her guard down too much. This was the reason she'd stayed out of a relationship for so long.

But she'd cuddled with him and felt safe. Told him all her insecurities and been there for him as well. Divulged more than she ever had with other people.

All for nothing.

What really stung was that she'd asked him if he'd be okay with her. Since she was Ace. And she'd told him to think about it.

He'd said it didn't matter. That they'd always figure things out and that there was no flaw that would make him like her any less.

She was naive enough to believe him.

She told her friends goodbye after they'd talked about it for a while. She'd stopped crying for the time being, but she could feel that familiar emptiness sapping her energy.

After she closed her laptop, she drew in a shaky breath.

"Kai? Are you still here?" Her voice was tremulous, and she wanted more than anything for this to be another bad dream.

But it wasn't.

'I'm sorry I couldn't be who you want me to be' she sent it and clicked her phone screen off, sighing shakily and choked on a quiet sob.

It was past midnight, so her family was asleep. She didn't want to wake them up.

"Em?" She perked up at the familiar voice, eyes welling as she scooped him up. "Woah, you're okay. Want to talk about it?"

She did want to, but her eyes and vocal chords disagreed. But eventually those issues ebbed.

"I feel so stupid." Her voice caught and she let out a slow, shaky breath. "I don't get it. I thought we were happy. He told me yesterday that he couldn't wait to see me again to watch movies and cuddle." It sounded so stupid now. "But then he says he's been thinking about this for months."

She felt exhausted and shaky all at once, body jittery as she held the borrower close, hesitantly stroking his hair. It helped calm her when things were rough.

Maybe everything happened for a reason, but that didn't mean this didn't hurt like hell. Knowing that he wouldn't be there anymore, not the same way.

She didn't even know if she could even bear to stay friends with him. He'd hurt her, taken that trust that she'd made the mistake of giving and crushing it until all that was left was a girl who was simultaneously blaming herself  and blaming him.

She also felt incredibly selfish. Of course he'd have desires that she didn't. She didn't want to make him miserable, but she wished he'd talked to her more about it recently. That he'd ended it months ago, before she'd fallen so deeply for him.

Kai hummed a melody she couldn't place, and her mouth quirked up in a weak mimicry of a smile. He always tried to help.

"Thanks, Kai."

This mistake just hurt so much more. Putting so much trust into someone and then having it ripped away just made her feel so much emptier.

But she'd be okay, eventually. She'd gotten over people before, even if she had a feeling this one would be longer.

She settled into bed, keeping the borrower close. He soothed her with reassurances, and she just kept him gently cupped in her palms.

She didn't end up falling asleep until nearly six in the morning, but she was able to coo at his sleepy form and stifle her cries as to not disturb him.

Maybe next week would be better.

Here we go, guess I'm posting. Enjoy the venty writing. Unedited, stream of consciousness-esque.

Based mainly on how stupid I felt for letting someone into my trust so deeply... I'll be fine at some point.

Hopefully soon.

~Em