pick me up | ✔

i'll find my way back home

It was Sunday, and Ellie still couldn't believe it. Her pursuing, her courting, her efforts all going down the drain after Julio announced at he will be leaving for Switzerland for college.

She was happy for him, ecstatic even, but she felt that the happiness she felt for him that day, the delight she had for a brief moment before she was hit with the wave of pain and rejection, that she felt when she was thinking of Julio in Switzerland, happy and content, with a new life, new girlfriend maybe?

All those thoughts made Ellie want to cry a river and lay on her bed and wail. But she couldn't, her tears from yesterday were wasted and made her eyes dry up and puffy, and she didn't want to look like that during, Julio's farewell.

Why? Ellie thought. What did I do?

I tried my best to make him fall on love with me..

But at what cost?

My sanity?

My hard work and patience?

I thought I did better than I was with the guys I liked before.

Julio was the real one that sparked an interest in me.

The first one that never pushed me away.

Now, this?

This special moment that I never want to end?

Gone.

Like a single pale rose in the wind, blown away with the remnants of it's pollen left behind, like memories stuck in a single time loop,

Gone.

Now, I'm going back to being alone in Geography.

With no one to admire from afar.

Ellie woke up from her deep slumber to sigh and tried to inhale through her nose, but her nose was blocked with her mucus. She sniffed and made a small grunt before retreating to the shower.

5pm. She thought, looking at the bedside table, checking the time on the clock which was there, hastily placed diagonally towards the bed.

She huffed and undid her messy short ponytail, letting it free from her tight navy blue scrunchie.

Ellie wrapped the scrunchie on her slim wrist, looking at it with a hint of sadness.

Julio likes blue.

She immediately felt tears welling up in her eyes again and slapped her cheeks harshly with her sweaty palms, her cheeks glowing a bright red, the blood rushing to her cheeks from the hard impact from her coarse hands from hard labour in the bakery.

Now's not the time.

Do what you got to do as a friend.

Do it for,

Him.

She sighed and went to the bathroom, turned on the tap lazily, letting the free, cold water run through and in the basin.

She plugged the hole with a sink plug that was chained beside it, and stopped the tap from running. The basin was filled to the brim.

Ellie took a deep breath and ducked her head in the water, letting the cold feeling for the water refresh herself,

She can't let her warm tears run down this time.

Ellie jerked up and straightened her back, looking at her dead self in the mirror.