Scottish Gold (An Outsiders Fic)

Chapter 24: I Want To Go Home

Cookie's POV

Once I had made it outside, I broke. Tears started to rush down my cheeks making my vision blurry as I weeped. I was covered in blood from head to toe, I was covered in Johnny's blood. I could feel the sticky dry liquid all over my arms and I began to scratch myself. Panic was setting in. The feeling of not being able to breath.

We were guilty by association. This was our fault. Johnny wouldn't have been out if it wasn't for us being here. Here in Oklahoma. We should never have come.

All I could do in the moment was wish for Scotland. For my bed in the room I shared with Vikki and Gracie. For my hiding spot in the barn that Camp had built for me after I complained about never having any peace and quiet from our siblings.

I longed for all four of my brothers. For their smiles and their comfort. They always knew what to say even if they drove me nuts most of the time. If they were here they'd already be knocking on the Soc that beat up Johnny's door. Camp and Hammish would grab the boy by his arms and drag him into the yard where William would kick him to the ground. They'd make the Soc apologize for what he had done and once the Soc did, Hammish would piss on him and they would get in the car and leave. I've seen it happen, and it is glorious.

In Scotland, we had a code of honor. Everyone got a square go and nobody was allowed to fight dirty. If you broke the rules you suffered the consequences. This is why the Scots are tuff. We don't take any shit and we demand respect.

My arms were red with scratch marks from me trying to scrub off the dried blood, my head pounded from the headache that came with crying, and my breath came in short puffs as I tried to breath through the tears and my stuffed up nose.

"Cookie?" I hear Two-Bit's voice say from behind me, "Cook? Stop!" I hadn't realized that I had begun scratching my arms again.

"A-Ah cannae..." I whined, "It's all over meh. His blood is all over meh." The tears came harder as I felt Two-Bit grip my arms and hold them to my sides.

"Cookie. Breath."

"He's hurt." I told him, unable to see his face through my tears, "He's hurt because of us. If we had never come tae America this never woulda happened."

"No." He said through clenched teeth, "don't ya ever wish that youse never came here. Ya hear me?" His hands let go of my arms and made their way to my cheeks, brushing away my hair that had snapped out of its elastic and held my face gently. "Don't ya ever tell me that ya wish ya'll never came here. This would have happened eventually, even if ya'll weren't here! Hell, it probably would have been me on that table instead of Johnny. I probably would have said somethin' stupid or hit on the wrong gal and been way worse than Johnny is now. If it weren't for ya'll, he'd still be layin' in that lot, bleedin' and in pain. He's gonna be okay, because of you."

I could tell Two-Bit was angry. He was angry at the Socs and I could tell he was angry with me for wishing I had never come to America and, by extension, never met him.

"I love ya. Ya hear me?" Two-Bit said, his voice full of gentleness and his thick thumbs wiping away my tears. "I love ya so much and I wouldn't trade anything that has happened to any of us for anything. I would never wish I hadn't met youse."

I nodded, sniffling and blinking as more tears involuntarily filled my eyes.

"Johnny wouldn't want ya beatin' yourself up about this and he definitely wouldn't blame ya. I know you are hurtin', we all are, but you need to relax. Johnny is gonna be fine. I promise."

I nodded again, taking a deep breath. Two-Bit was right. I needed to calm down. It was rare that Two-Bit was ever serious, but whenever he was, he was right.