Scottish Gold (An Outsiders Fic)

Chapter 50: Goodbye

Vikki's POV

Monday passed by quickly, and soon enough it was early Tuesday morning and time for the gang to leave. They all packed their bags in a saddened silence as they got ready to leave my home. Soda had snuck into my room that night and laid with me, holding me close in his arms as he fell asleep. It felt almost as if he thought I was going to disappear. When we had woken to pack his things, he stared at me.

"You'll call me won't you?" Soda asked me. I breathed out slowly, unable to speak. I didn't have the words in me to tell him that I couldn't call him, that we couldn't be together anymore. We were just too far apart. "Vikki?" He asked.

"Ah cannae do this tae ye." I told him.

"Do what?"

"Ah cannae pretend like we can make this work, Soda." I sighed. "Ah'll probably ne'er see ye again."

"What do you mean?" He sounded upset, and my heart nearly broke, "don't talk like that."

"We gotta stop this." I told him, "Ahm never goin' back tae Oklahoma."

"What?"

"Ah cannae ever go back there. She's gone, Soda, and Ah cannae go back there. There's just tae much that reminds meh of her. She was my best friend and now she's gone." I told him, tears filing my eyes. I tried thinking of something else, anything else, like the unsharpened pencil on my desk, that took my mind off the hurt.

"But what about us? What about me?" He asked, shaking his head. I bit my lip, looking away from him and up to the sky. I prayed to God, I asked for help as my heart clenched inside my chest and it felt as though my guts were getting ripped out.

"There cannae be an 'us' anymore, Soda." I said shaking my head, feeling my pillow rub against my cheek.

He sat up then, getting up from my bed and beginning to pace a bit. I watched him, the tears forcing their way down my cheeks as I clenched my jaw shut. My heart felt like it was being torn in half, like every piece of muscle tissue was being shredded by an invisible knife. My head ached and my eyes burned from the tears that refused to spill.

"Ahm sorry." I told him, sniffling, "Ah wish it could be different. Ah wish Cookie was here and that Ah could go back to Oklahoma with ye, but Ah cannae. Ah just cannae ever go there again, Soda."

"Then, I'll stay here in Scotland."

"No." I told him, cutting the idea short before he put his heart into it, "ye have Ponyboy and Darry to fash yerself about. Those two would crumble without ye. They cannae even go a bloody week without fighting. They need ye."

"You need me too!" He said, his voice rising. He was letting his sadness morph into anger.

"Ah donnea need ye as much as they do." I told him.

"I need you." He whimpered, running his hand through his greaseless hair. He clenched his jaw in frustration, but the tears that began sliding down his face said different. He was hurting, but he knew that this was coming.

"Ahm sorry." I said again, "Ah shoulda ken that getting close tae people gets ye fecked over. Ahm just so sorry that Ahm the one causing the hurt."

"Don't talk like that."

"Ye have tae go. Ye need tae go, Soda." I stood up as he stepped toward me, our chests barely touching.

He looked at me again, before sniffling and wiping his tears away with the back of his hands. He clenched his jaw, and shook his head in disbelief. He turned and walked out of my room, and I heard his footsteps disappear down the hall. That's when I finally let myself break. Tears rushed down my face, clogging my nose and interrupting my breathing pattern. My whole world was teetering on a ledge after Cookie died, and leaving Soda was the gust of wind that threw me over.

When I finally got control of myself, I stood and changed into more suitable clothes before walking out of my room and down the stairs. My stomach twisted as I took each step. As I took the last step, I plastered a fake smile onto my face and looked up. The gang was gathered in the kitchen, everyone but Soda. Darry looked at me sadly, stepping forward and grabbing me into a big Superman hug.

"We're gonna miss ya Vik." He said, setting me down.

"Ahm gonna miss ye tae." I told him as I patted his massive shoulder and I felt his muscle flex.

Johnny was next as he looked at me through his bangs and I shook my head at him, giving him a silly smile.

"I guess we gotta go now." He said, stating the obvious.

"Ah ken." I told him. He smiled again before wrapping me up into a hug as well.

"Thank you." He whispered, "You have helped us so much. You and Cookie."

I nodded, trying not to cry again. But I was all cried out, it is exhausting.

The gang was saying their goodbyes to my parents and my brothers. I looked over at Two, and he was abnormally quiet.

"What's up?" I asked him, and everyone got quiet.

"I..." he said, "I think I'm gonna stay."

"You're what now?" Darry asked, dropping his suitcase to the floor with a large thud.

"I've been thinking about it, and this is Cookie's home, and she's my wife. I can't leave her."

"But your home is in Tulsa." Pony said.

"I've been wanting to spread my wings anyway," Two said. "This ain't been an easy decision on the fly, honest. I've been really considering it."

"Whatever ye decide," Mr. Jamison said, "yer welcome to bide here. We'll be needin' some mare help on the farm."

"Ya can't live in Scotland." Johnny said softly, "when will we ever see you?"

Two took a shaky breath, "it'll be tough."

"Well," Darry rubbed the back of his neck, "if you think that will be best."

"Yeah, we only want what's best for ya, Two." Steve added.

"What about me?" Soda asked, entering the house once more, "can I stay?"

"Over my dead body." Darry said. "We gotta go, the plane will leave without us."

I gave my own last hug and kiss to Soda, and ruffled Johnny's hair as he passed by. I smiled into his chest, taking it in one last time.

"I love ya," Soda said when we pulled away.

"Ah love ye tae." I said, "Ah'm sorry about before."

"No, don't, it's okay." He grabbed his suitcase, and headed to the front door, closing it behind him.

I turned to my family and saw their sympathetic faces as I said, "he's gone, they're gone."

"We ken it's hard, darling." My mum said.

I heard the door click open again, and when I spun around, I saw Soda back to me, and he threw me into a hug.

"Ye scared the shit outta meh!" I laughed.

"I needed just one more." He said.

I kissed him when we pulled away and said, "one for the road."

"And an extra for good measure." He said, giving me one more kiss.

As fast as he came, he was gone again. I kept looking at the door, hoping that he would come in again, but it stayed closed.

My chapter in America had ended, and the door finally closed. My next chapter? I don't know. I'm excited for it even though I knew that when I opened that door, Soda would never be on the other side, and Cookie would never be by my side. That's the thing about love, it's bittersweet. The universe has a funny way of throwing us curveballs, and we can find happiness in the most unexpected places, but the best things in life do not come free. I was going to take Cookie's advice: go through life without regrets. I was going to come back fighting, and no one is going to take that away. I am so ready.