Summer (BrightWin)

s u m m e r ; 4

W i n ' s

"Have you ever talked to him since the day you left Pattaya?" My friend Dexter asked me over the line.

I let myself to tumble down from the mattress and covered my feet with the blue blanket.

"No. I haven't talked to him." I said, biting my nails on my finger while looking to the ceiling.

"Win, you're stupid." You can hear his voice full of judgement

"Dexter, do you know the cliché saying don't judge a book by its cover?" I sat down.

"Am I that stupid to you?"

"Yes. Know the story first before calling me stupid, you son of a--" I stopped and looked into the window. And I saw Bright.

"Just like you, he didn't even give me time to explain everything. He said he was fine and I just chase my dream instead of staying on his side." My voice became weak and my eyes glued into the window.

Is he still mad?

"Are you saying you saw Bright?" Dex shouted to the phone. He's being hysterical and over acting.

I end up the call, went closer to the window. He was standing in front of their house with his coffee in his hand. He really changes a lot. 

I keep on staring at him until I felt my tears started to fell down from my cheeks.

Why am I crying?

Maybe because I am mad at him for not listening to me.

It's been 6 years, 6 summers had been passed and he still don't have the guts to forgive me, to listen to my side.

Yes. I left him. He begged for me not to leave and make more memories. He thought I  was too selfish because I only forsake myself.

What you're going to do when your dad is dying?

I have to stay on my Dad's side until his last breath. Is that selfish?

Tears continued to fell and I was running out of breathe because of the pain I can't handle.

I tried to relax myself, I sat down to the floor and my back was supported by the mattress and put down my chin Into my knees.

"If there's selfish here, It's you Bright, not me." I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

**

It was 4:00 a.m. in the morning. The sound of the Rooster wakes me up. I move to my mattress and take more sleep, but I can't. Instead, I went to the kitchen, and searched for some coffee. I opened the petrol tank to boil hot water. While waiting, I checked the kitchen. The cabinets were full of stocks, the oven toaster is quite old, and the refrigerator is still the same. I noticed a photo pasted to the door of the Refrigerator. It was me and Bright 6 years ago.

I removed the photo, there was a text written at the back of it.

Bright, the one who gives light to his bunny.

My lips formed a smile. I still remember the day when he said he loves me, when he said he needs me. I was outraged that time. I only think of him every second, every minute, every day. I pasted the photo again with the ref magnet because the water was boiling.
I opened the coffee and mix it with the hot water.

After drinking the coffee, I decided to take some morning walk since it was 5:30 early in the morning. I wore my thick Gray jacket, my black pants and my white pair of shoes. The wind was somehow cold. I stopped in the middle of a farm and looked to the mountains.

I enjoy the scenery until a sound caught my attention. And when I searched for it, I saw Bright once more.

"Early In the morning?" I asked him.

"I'm going to check my dad's farm" He shyly said and scratches the back of his head.

"Is it still the same?"

"Um, except for the stock room we use to clean before."

I don't know what to ask anymore. I felt the awkward aura between us.

"Are you still mad?" I hate myself for asking him that kind of question. Wrong move, Win. Wrong move.

He looked at me innocently and shake his head slowly.

"You just did what's good for you"

"My father was dying --" I wasn't able to explain my side because he peddles his bicycle.

I guess he's still mad at me.

I looked into the sky trying not to cry.