Win's
I woke up at exactly three in the morning for no reason. I leaned my back to the wall with my arms crossed thinking different things. I guess my anxiety was attacking me and I just let myself drown from it. After all, I have to cry for me to outburst all the emotion that makes me weak, that makes me want to end everything. Did I make the right decision to move back and deal with my life again? Or should I stay at his side where I feel the love and attention I need, especially this time, where I feel like I was standing in the middle of dystopia? Am I maybe exaggerated but this is how I feel, wait, do emptiness is a feeling even it means nothing? I released heavy breathing and decided to plop myself on my bed which, as of this moment, was the safest place for this city. I have to force myself to sleep and to be at ease because tomorrow, I will face another tiring day.
**
As I'm on my way to school, I can't help myself but think of what happened the other day. Yes, that workplace was abusive and it's oppressing our rights, as a teacher, and as a person but that's the only school that accepted me when I tried to apply to all school music in Bangkok. One thing more, teaching and music is my passion and I will never let anyone hindrance that. I parked my car and headed to the faculty room. As I opened the door, my co-teachers are all in silence and they are all staring at me which is quite awkward. I saw Dexter busy typing on his computer. I went to his place and approached him
"What's wrong with anyone today?" I asked and sat at my desk since his desk and mine are in the same area. Dexter just looked at me blankly
"You don't have any idea?" He asked and finger point to my desk. I saw my stuff in a big box and the door was harshly opened and everyone got startled. It's the owner of the school who's gazing at me. My heart beats heavily because I know what will happen next.
"So, do you have any last words before you leave MY school?" He asked with conviction and sarcasm. I stood up in disbelief and face him.
"Sir, you can't do this to me," I said with my voice shaking. The owner just laughed and clapped in front of me
"Why? I'm the owner of this school so I can do whatever I want to do. I don't need a useless teacher like you, so please, get your things and leave." He shouted that echoed in the four sides of the room. Everyone was staring at me and I'm too embarrassed about what is happening. I don't want to reply to him because everything will be complicated. I grabbed my things and left them. My tears are forming and I don't want to cry in front of them it will be a big issue but I'm too tired to think of that. I drive my car and went home, with a heavy chest. Everything was fucked up and my life is a big mess.
Why do I feel like I made the wrong choice coming back to Bangkok?
**
Bright's
I woke up in the morning and my back was killing me. It's been 2 months and I managed not to seek a doctor even sometime, I was crying because of pain. I think I can't go to work today. Marky left for a two months vacation and I have no one to contact too. I tried to stand up but my back was hurting me. I grabbed my phone. I grabbed my phone and dialed my mom to ask her to go to my room and immediately, the door opened and it was her and Marky who's waving at me
"Good thing you call me, Marky is here and he bought you some goods" uttered my mom and presented the pineapple. Marky smiled at me but he dropped his smile quickly too.
"P?" Marky asked and I smiled at him
"How's your vacation?" I asked him and he was just looking at me with a serious face
"Are you okay?" He asked and I just laughed at him
"Of course I am is there any reason to not be okay?" I said trying to ease the pain my back giving me
"I just left you for two months and you lose weight and your skin was pale too" He muttered. I looked at my mom and she even doesn't know what to say. I made a fake laugh.
"Because I'm on a diet" I just said and smiled at him once more.
I got conscious when Marky complimented me about my physical appearance and I don't know what to say. Is it really bad? I don't know what is happening to me. Marky excused himself and it was just me and my mom. She weakly smiled at me and I just started at her
"Do I lose weight?" I asked and she went to my side and pinched my cheek softly.
"Is your back still hurting?" She asked. My mom always told me to seek a Doctor because I'm always complaining about my back and I just tell her not to be worried about me and just focus on herself instead.
My mom held my hands and look straight into my eyes. Here she goes again, comforting me.
"You miss him?" She asked.
"Hmmm, I do" I replied and stared at her too.
It's been months since I saw him and I promised him that I will go to Bangkok to visit him. He's not responding to my blogs I posting and I get worried about that. What if he's not okay? What if he's just busy? I hope he still has time for me because I miss him. I simply do.
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Private blog posting
@winmetawin
Hang on there.
@brightvc replied:
I will. Please do the same.
@winmetawin replied:
Hope you're here. But I don't want you to see me suffering.
@winmetawin blocked @brightvc
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YOU ARE READING
Summer (BrightWin)
Fanfiction"Are you sure he will comeback?" I looked into the window and plastered a smile "He will comeback. Not today, not tommorow, but soon" It was summer, when we both loose each
