A Million Things {Hamilton/Harry Potter Universe}

Chapter 25

Alexander shivered in the cool, Autumn air. Halloween was approaching and the new headquarters for the Order was in a small cottage situated on the edge of a lonely, dark moor. He always disliked the vast, quiet countryside. Cities were much more welcoming and exciting to him. As Alexander walked down the hallway, he heard raised voices coming from the dining room.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were shouting-again. He never would have expected two close friends like them to be at each other's throats with such ferocity. Alexander saw the other Order members standing awkwardly off to the sides of the room, acting as if they were deaf to the two men. He slid next to Benedict who was watching them uneasily.

"Why don't you just admit it?" Black snarled. "You are working with the werewolves!"

Lupin glared at him with equal dislike, "I'm a spy, just like Dumbledore wanted me to be! What about you? Been talking to Bellatrix lately? Having family reunion?"

Black opened his mouth when Dumbledore burst into the room. His presence alone silenced them. "Enough," the old wizard said calmly. "Neither of you have any proof to your claims and this infighting is just what Voldemort wants. Turning on each other when we have the true evil to fight." He surveyed the room serenely. "Let us begin the meeting."

Alexander slid next to Benedict at the table. As everyone took their seats, only Peter Pettigrew remained standing. The small man watched as Black and Lupin sat on opposite sides of the table, not looking at each other. Pettigrew hovered anxiously, as if not sure who to sit with.

Hamilton patted the seat next to him. "Sit here, Peter. You look lost." Pettigrew looked shocked, probably because they had hardly spoken before.

"Th-thanks," he stammered, falling into his seat with a thump. Peter twisted his hands together and his eyes darted nervously up and down the table. He looked like he was expecting retribution for sitting down, like a child sitting at the table the cool kids in the lunchroom.

"Relax," Hamilton said, feeling a mix of embarrassment and pity. "You don't have to sit with Sirius or Remus right now. They'll make up after this is all over."

"W-what?" Peter asked absentmindedly. He seemed to have not taken in a single word he said as the meeting began.

With the effect it had on his mood, Hamilton wondered if he should have just stayed home with Eliza. There wasn't much good news to report. Too many deaths and disappearances in the Order and in the muggle world. Voldemort had been unseen for weeks, like a phantom he had vanished. It seemed like the world was holding its breath, waiting for something horrible to happen.

The meeting closed with not much enthusiasm. As they all rose to leave, Alexander noticed the dark circles under Benedict's eyes as his face was illuminated by the chandelier. "What's going on, Benny?" he whispered, as others began to discuss plans for the evening. "Is it your mother? Did she make it alright?"

His friend swallowed hard, "She's safe. Somewhere in near Ilvermorny. We have a cousin who teaches there. I'm just under a lot of stress with the Order. Being a spy and all." He stared hard into Alexander's eyes. He looked nearly as lost as Pettigrew. "The Death Eaters are monsters, Alex, monsters. They don't care who they kill, as long it 'serves the new order of the world' as they like to say." He let out a dry laugh. "I'm wondering if its even worth it anymore."

"Don't say that!" Alexander exclaimed. He saw they were the only two left in the room. He went over and closed the door. "You're giving up? You want out?"

Benedict sighed, tucking his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I guess so. But I want all of us to get out."

"I don't understand."

"We can't win," Benedict said softly. "You-Know-Who's too powerful. We might as well stop before we're all killed."

Alexander felt a red-hot fury begin to burn in him. "What do you think were fighting for?" he shouted. "My health?! I think all our goals are to not be killed."

"That's the problem!" Benedict shot back. He began to pace around the room. "We fight and some of us get killed. We fight again and even more of us get killed. It never ends!"

"Its war!" Hamilton snapped. "It happens!"

"And I'm supposed to be okay with that?!" Benedict had always been the quiet one. The sensible one. Now he looked like he was going mad. His hair was hanging in his face and there was a wild look in his bright blue eyes. "My dad is dead! I don't want to lose anyone else!"

"You're acting like a coward," Alexander snapped. "What are you doing to do? Surrender to our Death Eater pals and hope they don't murder you? Sounds like a death wish to me."

"M-maybe they'll let us-"

Hamilton cut him off. "I'm a freaking mudblood, Benedict! Do you honestly think they'll let me live? Or my wife? Or her family? If we give up, we're all dead." Without waiting for a reply, Alexander strode to the door. After opening it, he turned back to his oldest friend. He saw a broken, scared man who lost all hope.

"If you want out, Benny," he said quietly, his anger subsiding. "I'll help you escape. You can go to America with your mom and wait this out. But I'm not going anywhere and neither is the rest of the Order. I'm sorry."

Benedict just shook his head. "I'm sorry too," he said quietly.