(WARNING: SELF HARM IS IN THE CHAPTER)
Ashynn POV
"I love you" Luke spoke before I could close the door. I put my back against the door as it closed. "I-I love you too" I whispered. I went straight up to the bathroom to take a shower. Once I finished I stepped out of the shower onto the cold wooden floor. I grabbed a towel from the rack and dryed myself. I grabbed my clothes and started to throw them on. Once I finsihed I went to my room and went straight to bed. I grabbed my phone and went on twitter. As I was scrolling through my feed I noticed Taylor posted a photo with some guy. I clicked onto the photo and my heart stopped. He lied to me and Jake was right. Her and Luke do have something going on. It was a photo of Taylor dancing on Luke.
Just when I thought I was getting better, the voice came back. 'She's so much prettier than you'
'You're worthless' 'You deserve all of this' I put my hands on both sides of my head and rocked back and forth. "I know, I know, I fucking know" 'She's so much skinnier than you and way more pretty' 'Go cut yourself because he won't ever love you' And that's what I'll do. I went straight to my bathroom and grabbed my razor. I put the cold sharp blade to my wrist. "First cut because your never going to be good enough" Cut. "Second cut because your inlove with a person who will never love you back" Cut. "Third cut because your ugly" Cut. "Fourth because your fat" Cut. "Fifth because your just a suicidal girl that no one will ever like because well, look at you... your a mess" Cut. I watched as the blood dripped down my arm. I smiled at the sight. It seemed that's the only thing that could make me smile. My eyes were drawn from my bleeding wrist to the medicine cabinet. Should I? I thought to myself. I wanted to so bad. Maybe just one more day. I grabbed my cloth and wipped all the blood away. I winced at the stinging but I deserved this.
Once I finished I looked over at the time it was 11:56 p.m. I went back to my bed and grabbed my phone, I puposely went back on twitter and I had over 20+ notifications. What? I barley get any. I clicked onto my notifications and they were all from people from my school saying rude things. 'Why are you trying to steal Luke from Taylor?' 'Jealous whore' 'I heard you suck dick for free, wanna slide through the dms' I just broke into tears.
Why are they doing this? What did I ever do? Maybe I should'nt live another day. I shut off my phone and threw it across my room. I pulled the covers up and shut my eyes tightly. I heard my phone ring but I didn't feel like answerng. Minutes later I got a bunch of text messages. Then multiple phone calls. "Ughh" I got up out of my bed and to where I threw my phone. I picked it up and went back to bed. I clicked my home button and saw lots of texts and calls from Luke and Calum. I bet Luke is trying to look worried about me. He probably saw what everyone was saying to me on twitter. But he couldn't tweet them back telling them to stop. I shut my phone of again but then Ashton called. I answered. "Hi" I spoke softly. "Uh, hey i'm just calling to check up on ya, uh h-how are you?" He said. Luke must of told him to call me. "I'm great, why are you calling me at midnight?" I fakley laughed. "Uh n-no reason, just a friendly call" He said unsure. "Right, well I'm really tired so goodnight" Before I could hang up "Wait, Ashlynn" "Yes?" I said. "Nevermind. I'll tell you at school" He said. "Okay." And with that I hung up. I shut off my phone and went to sleep.
I woke up to the sound of my alarm. I got up and got ready. I put on my ramones tee with black ripped skinny jeans and black vans. I put on eyeliner and mascara and straightened my hair. I grabbed my backpack and car keys and hurried before Luke could get here. I really didn't want a ride with him. I got into my car and drove off. I parked into a parking spot and went to my locker. I pulled out my phone and texted Ashton.
Ashlynn- Im at my locker, meet me here whenever you get here, please.
Ashton- Okay! See you soon. (:
Before I shut off my phone I got a text. I thought it'd be from Ashton but it's not. It's from Luke.
Luke- Where are you?
Ashylnn- I drove to school. Don't worry I'm sure you'd rather pick up Taylor anyway!! (;
I got a call from Luke. I answered because I needed to hear his voice but I didn't want too because I knew i'd fall inlove with him all over again. "Ashlynn why do you keep saying stuff about Taylor? I like you" He said. His voice always made me feel safe. "Yeah you like me, but you love her" "Ashlynn, you know what I ment. Can you please tell me why you keep talking about Taylor? What happened at the party yesterday?" he asked. "I don't know Luke, why don't you tell me" "Fine, I will-" I cut him off "And tell me the truth" I said. "I will, I swear, Ashlynn I promise." He pleaded. "O-okay" I said. After he got done telling me everyting he said happened. The photo made sense, but what Jake told me didn't. "Ash, do you believe me?" I wanted too, I really wanted too. Or maybe I already did and I just didn't wanna accepet it. "Luke I-" I was cut off by voices of girls on his line. "Holy shit, thanks for the sexy view" a girls voice said. My heart felt like it had permantly been split. Like it had been brutly cut with a sharp knife. "Luke?" I said with my voice cracking." Ash, Ashlynn no I'm not with anyone there just" He stopped. "T-There just w-what?" I spoke. "Ashlynn I'm so inlove with you and you need to believe everythng I'm about to say. Everythng I told you, everything... About being inlove with you, and only you. Is so true. I would never ever lie about that. Your the one I wanna be with nobody else-" "I don't care if your taking some girls to school or giving them some sexy view, Luke I honestly don't care. It's fine, It's been nothing but fine. And that's how it'll be for the rest of my life. Because everytime life is going somewhat great it always gets fucked up. Always and I'm so sick and tired of it. Life sucks, and I don't wanna deal with it anymore. Luke I'm so fucking tired of all this bullshit I just can't anymore. I-I" I said in all one breath. "I'm sorry" I added. I was already crying. I just went to sit in my car. "Ashlynn" Luke said. "L-Luke" I said. "Ashlynn, don't say anything just listen. Ash I care so much about you, and I promise I will never leave you. You mean everything to me. And I never wanna lose you. Youre so so important to me Ash, I'm inlove with you. And I mean every word. I will never stop loving you, even if you stop loving me, I promise you it won't stop me. I-I'll help you get threw this because I know what it's like-" I cut him off "Luke?" "Ashlynn please let me finish.." "No, Luke what do you mean you know what it's like-" "We can get threw this together, please just let me help you" "Luke, please answer me" It was now dead silence. "Luke what do you mean?" I said a little louder. Why was there no noise? Shouldn't he be at school by now? Where was he? "Luke please say something?" I said crying. Still nothing. "Luke" I screamed with tears all on my face. Then I heard sniffeling. Was he crying? "A-Ashlynn, p-please forgive me... Goodbye, I love you" He said with lots of sniffles. Then all of a sudden I heard a loud crash, then the phone disconnected. My eyes grew big and my phone dropped. Tears stremmed down my face. My hands started to shake. My breathing increased. I stayed there like that for about 10 minutes straight. I had no clue what just happened but I had an idea. A bad one.
