Weird Times

resolution

Something I've learned after writing here is that many things happen. I've looked back and many things seem weird. But in a way, it's always been that way.

I don't understand regret. I wanted nothing more than to be over with school, and look at me now, envying my old self. No, I don't wish back the long nights, I just want the memories. It's stupid, I always live in the past, and then it ends. I never live in the moment, and well that's my own fault.

I read what my teacher wrote. One ended with love. I don't know why, but that simple phrase really means something. I never really realized that teachers bond with there students, and then watch them disappear. I really am selfish.

Right now nothing feels right, and it will probably stay that way.

If I had one wish I would go back in time. I would live in those memories and never come back. But I can't. And that's a harsh reality that I'm having a hard time accepting. Whenever you have something, you want more. I find this phrase to be the same with time. You want the future, but at last, when you make it there, the past seems more alluring. All the fun nights and quiet mornings seem to just rattle my mind. But again I can never truly have them back.

I never thought this would be the end. It's quite funny but in that weird gloomy way.

This is the resolution. An end to these weird times that plague my mind. I've decided that this is the end of my school year and in essence the end of this chapter, that I stupidly call my life. So goodbye, I hope you're all safe if I know you, or not. And please always be yourself, there's nothing else I ask of more.

Love,

Annaka