Weird Times

I want to live

These last few days have felt numb. I had nothing. I felt trapped and stuck, and hopeless. Was my life going to just be plain and worthless forever? But this weekend has made me want to be alive. I want to see the world, and be free. Travel around the world and experience everything. To just let go and find myself that's all I desire. Go to the Netherlands and see the Alps, or have a cup of coffee at a cafe in France.

I remember years ago when I wanted to live in Japan. Now all I want is to live there or somewhere else. Though I have friends, and I don't want to leave them. It love these people to much (no homo lmao). There just so chaotic and fun, I would miss them to much. Even though we may all go our separate ways one day. I will be glad to know that have memories with everyone, But anyway that isn't now so hey I'm just going to spend our time being funny and chaotic. Now that I think about it traveling with these people would be so much fun. Like going to New York and getting lost in Central Park. Now that sounds like big fun, or doing something random like big catching bugs (lmao a few of friends bought me cockroach magnets, and I they are now my children). Anyway that came up randomly.

I just want to have fun with my friends. And travel and see the world. Look at things a different way, and just experience life. Something felt missing, or gone. I think I just thought life was going to the same. Stuck in a chain I can't escape. And sure I still have to go to school, but the just the idea of being free makes me feel better. I want to learn more, but not by book. I want to experience things, and see life through a different way. I don't want to be stuck in a loop forever. All I want is to be free, and just be me. I want to live.