"Why are you so chipper about this?"
Cheeks would not the lets lips fall often. Even in the dark of night, now. So anxious and alured to face a beacon of purity. Always seemed like something too bright to come near. So I never did.
Sad Sword was proud inside, but he sounded unimpressed. So many layers to make lies feel real. Brooding blade always broods inside.
"I get to touch it," I answered dreamily.
"Ok that's not comforting..."
"She'll be fine, Dean," Pretty Man of mine defended me, "if anything, this might be good for her."
Baby stopped rolling. Nora's house.
"Right. Maybe."
Brother had a twinge of fear for the innocent. A Sword who nutured deep down.
"I just want to touch it," I repeated. Fear melted into molten compassion. He understood now.
I wandered ahead to the door before Castiel caught up with me. Worried about me going inside without him. But there were no fights here.
Just a queen, excited to present herself, wary but trusting enough to leave the princess with us wayward souls.
She answered the door, still fumbling to push an earring through.
"Oh good, you're here! I thought I would be late. Come in!"
Wingless man stepped into the small house before me, awkwardly standing near the island counter.
Watching patiently as Nora finished off her attire with outerwear.
"Bowling, would you believe it? But damned if I'm not dressing fancy, even for bowling. Haven't had an excuse to doll up since Tanya was born."
Funny. Poor thing. So much responsibility. So little joy outside these walls. I understood.
I was drawn to the crib nearby. The softest and sweetest, simplest and purest of songs calling me in gentle breaths. Nora hurried over for a last look, herself, getting in my way.
I backed off.
"And there she is, my little angel," she introduced, then turned to the real angel and I, "Now, she's already been fed. She'll probably sleep the whole time, and I'll only be gone a couple of hours. I just couldn't get my usual sitter, and I needed somebody here just in case she wakes up and starts crying. Which she won't, I promise. Baby Tanya never cries."
Exaggerated. But well enough. I just nodded. Cas was nervous. He didn't know anything.
"Good luck," I bade her as she moved to the door.
"Thank you! You guys really are the best thank you so much. "
And she was gone.
In less than a minute of standing in silence, the innocent began to fuss and wail. Hurting deep, untouched parts of my heart. Boiling a foreign anxiety.
Castiel tentatively walked to the crib, full of uncertainty but also a sense of care.
"Um...hello? " he greeted the writhing, crying thing, "please dont...uh..shhh."
I watched him very carefully pick her up and make gentle bounces with her in his arms.
I fidgeted. Jealous. Unworthy. Sharing his anxiety. She wouldn't stop. She was unwell.
"Her mouth hurts..." I informed him softly of her discomfort.
He noticed me. My longing. To touch it. Hold the thing that was never mine. I looked away.
But he came closer, offered the bundle up against me.
"Here," he said, "its ok."
I let out a gasp, shaking arms settling into determination to be careful and solid as I took her. So precious. Brightest eyes windows of the unknown. Not worthy. Smiles never ending.
Little songs without words were in distress. Hurting. Missing mother.
I started to sway and hum, holding her close. Then hums became words. Songs from my heart's favorites spilled.
"I linger in the doorway
Of alarm clocks screaming, monsters calling my name...
Let me stay.
Where the wind will whisper to me.
Where the raindrops as they're falling tell a story.."
