The carnage dealt by Dean's accursed hand in that house...it left us all reeling and remembering just how serious this situation was. Reminded everyone that my problem didn't matter.
Cas had been traveling around with Claire, trying to give her some kind of stability and kinship, and hadn't spoken to me since he covered for my murderous ass that night.
Once again I was reclusive, letting myself indulge in heavier doses and sleeping it off routinely for days in my room. I only ever left to get more. Sneaking out of the bunker at odd hours when I knew no one was in the front room to notice.
I was ignoring or politely dismissing Shan regularly. And he was starting to get worried and trying to contact me more often.
One morning in particular, when I finally decided to actually sit down at the library table, he called me again and I just couldn't ignore it this time.
I gripped at my barely touched touched coffee cup, staring at the caller ID for a moment, just as Sam and Cas both came wandering in from the war table.
"Hello?" I answered politely, hiding my anxiousness.
Sam moved to the kitchen, while Castiel leaned on a column nonchalant and still as a statue. I swallowed hard, knowing he could hear it all if he wanted to.
"Heyy pretty lady," Shan cooed from the other end, "just checking on you..."
"I'm fine, Shan," I said as kindly as possible despite how annoyed and awkward I felt.
"Yeah, you always say that...look if this about the...you know, I can get you help. You dont have to hide out and drown in it."
"That's sweet, but I don't need help," I told him. Cas glanced ever so subtly at me, thinking we were talking about the vampirism. He didnt know about the heroin.
There was a pause on the phone, other than the detective sighing.
"I'm just worried about you. And don't give me the 'it won't kill me routine cause there's more than one way to die, sweetheart."
"Shannon..." I began with bite, seeing Sam come back in the room, "I know you're just trying to help but you got to understand what this is..."
"I know what it is...doesn't mean I can't care."
"Well stop! OK? I'm ...I'm done with this...Dont call me again for anything non-monster."
I hung up almost angrily and buried my face in my hands with stress and anguish. I just dumped my booty call in the meanest way.
I could feel conflict on someone's heart in the room. A war between pleasure and pain. Cas...
He felt bad for feeling good about what he just heard.
"You didn't have to do that..." I heard his voice in my head.
"No I really did..."
"So uh, how is it working out with Claire?" Sam chimed in to Cas, sitting across from me.
The angel began to pace slowly, as if trying to walk off all his troubles.
"She barely speaks to me. She's like a wounded animal, just...watching me."
"Look, Cas, you know what? You really tried to do the right thing that night. You did," Sam assured him, "This guy Claire was hanging out with, Randy, all he did was use her."
"Well, she thought he was kind. And for that, she loved him. Shows how little kindness there was in her life..."
"Kids like her have to learn those lessons, Cas," I offered my expertise, "It sucks...but that's naivety."
