For a case that was "probably nothing", we sure got beat up. Well, Dean and I did. The creatures, formeral known as were-pires, turned out to be more like ghoul- pires, and kicked the shit out of us before we won the day. Baby got smashed up too. It was a rough couple days, despite the comradery between us, after getting way too drunk, and then duking it out with a couple Nachzere.
Sam was the only one who wasn't limping home.
I wasn't surpised to find that Castiel wasn't in the main room waiting for us. My brothers slinked away to unload and unwind in their rooms, while I opted for the first turn in the showers.
Still no Cas coming to greet me and give me that face he makes when I get hurt.
My own face was cut up a little, and bruised, mostly from the wreck, but the deputy monster had gotten his hands on me as well. Hardly noticeable, given much worse things I'd endured before.
I found my angel exactly where I left him. In my room.
He was watching TV. So engrossed in it that he didn't acknowledge me coming in whatsoever. Which I found very odd, unless he was ignoring me on purpose. And he wasn't even fully dressed. Basically just pants and his dress shirt halfway undone.
Realizing I had to do better to announce myself, I wrapped around him from behind his chair. It actually surpised him. He actually startled. Until I pressed my sore cheek to his and he settled.
"Hey," I said sweetly, kissing his temple, "I'm back."
Slowly he turned his head to mine, and I waited for a real kiss. But it didn't come. He took one look at my battered face and bolted out of his chair in terror, stumbling and knocking it over. He backed up roughly into the the TV stand, rattling it to almost fall over as well. Breathing hard breaths. Hiding his face in his hand.
"I-I'm sorry, I..."
My heart cracked, not sure what just happened but I'd never seen him quite so pathetic. Not since the day the torture of the angel Samandriel disturbed and reduced him to a cowering heap on the floor.
"Cas...?" I squeaked worriedly, reaching for him.
I watched him take a long, shaky breath before taking another step to hold onto to him.
"What the hell was that?"
Still not looking at me directly, he tapped my forehead to heal me. Only then did he seem to settle and make eye contact.
"I..I dont know...that hasn't happened since..."
"What hasn't happened since when?" I pressed when he trailed off, searching the lines of his face for answers. Unfortunately angel's weren't overly expressive, not even this one.
"Since I was insane..." he answered with a sigh, "I dont know...flashbacks...hallucinations.."
Now I understood. A little too well. Not once did I ever think a celestial being was capable of developing post traumatic stress, but that appeared to be the case. We all had symptoms, from time to time, but not Cas. Not the multi-billion year old thing I called friend and lover.
It took me a moment, without my full range of powers, to puzzle together the sad shimmer in his eyes with the facts. What I concluded was that being completely helpless under Rowena's curse, beating the tar out of Dean and I, ontop of everything else he'd done in the past, seemed to crack him.
"Is that why you won't leave?" I asked sympathetically, "Cause I know you're healed, no matter what you're telling the boys."
Cas nodded shamefully. "I'm sorry...I shouldn't be-"
"Hush," I demanded gently, "Its okay. Really. I dealt with you crazy, you dealt with me...I guess its your turn again."
Pleased that I could make him laugh a little, I tugged him along towards the door.
Of course he resisted, and trying to pull on a resisting angel is like trying to tow a mountain.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"Getting you out of this room,"I said bluntly, still tugging in vain.
