Always you (sequel to love is love)

9: Shocking messages

20/8/19

I woke up today doing what's becoming a usual routine with Romeo

I'm glad he's getting into a routine now.

Today he is a week old which I can't believe, he has changed so much since the day he was born but I just love him more and more everyday

He still has a full head of brown hair, his eyes are bright blue now. He has really long eyelashes. He always seems to have a cheeky look about him, he has little cute pouty lips

He's just perfect, There's nothing that I could change about him, he's just amazing.

One thing he loves to do is when he's feeding. He will always wrap his tiny hand around my thumb.

I think it's a comfort thing, but it's my favourite thing in the word, every time he does it my heart melts

I just can't believe I'm a mummy, I'm only 20 years old but I still wouldn't change it for the world.

Today I need to see Lottie, I think we need to have a talk about everything, so she's coming over soon.

Me and Romeo we're both dressed in comfy clothes and I was sitting on the couch leaned back, Romeo lay on my chest on his tummy and his head lay on my shoulder so it was supported

I took a picture of us both which I set as my lock screen. He's so beautiful.

I sat on Instagram and twitter just scrolling through and replying to a few tweets which asked about what I've been up to since X factor and so on

I haven't really been that active, I felt bad but I had more important things to focus on

The public never found out about me and Louis seeing as we broke up.

Everyone ships me with one of the uv boys. There's a lot of different ships. I find it quite funny.

My phone dinged and I looked to see I had a dm from Niall Horan on my main account on insta gram.

I gasped and looked at what it said

@niallhoran: hey I watched you on X factor last year and thought you were really great! I know this message is veryyy late hahaah just thought I'd let you know your very talented, you should of won.

I shook my head in shock. 3 out of 5 I have now spoke to, thing is he probably doesn't even know anything about Louis unless Liams told him

I'll need to speak to Liam tomorrow

@reaganwilliam: wow I can't believe I got this message haha. Genuinely thank you so much though. You don't know how much it means to Ben to hear stuff like that.

He didn't take long to reply which shocked me once again

@niallhoran: honestly you deserve it love, amazing voice. Wondering if you wanted to meet up or something, I'd understand if you said no ahha, but I've been meaning to ask for a while

My jaw dropped and just as that happened Lottie walked in the door

"Hey Reags" she said and closed the door "you okay, you seem off"

I gave her my phone and let her read and her jaw dropped too

"Lottie! Help" I screeched but remembered my baby was there and he just made gurgling noises making me smile slightly

"I mean do what you want Reags, remember he's Louis friend though" Lottie said to which I nodded

I completely forgot about that

"I want to but like that's risky, I have a baby" i said and she shrugged

"Do it then, just be careful, I'll watch RoRo for you!" Lottie said and I raised my eyebrows

"Really?" I asked

"Of course , he's my little nephew" she said and played with his hair as she sat next to me

I nodded and replied

@reaganwilliams: oh wow wasn't expecting that, but yeah I'd love to Niall.

I put my phone down and turned to Lottie

She held her hands out for Ro and I handed him to her carefully and she smiled to him making him gurgle.

"So how you doing?" Lottie said

"I'm okay honestly, it was a massive shock obviously, I wasn't expecting that" I said and she nodded

"No neither was I. He was over the day before you came over that's what I was gonna tell you before he came in, he said he's back for a while. But he hasn't spoke to me since the other day" Lottie said

"I genuinely feel bad though like I get why he's annoyed because I'm his ex and your his family" I said

"Yeah I do get that" Lottie said "but he ended it still in love with you, it's not like he hated you, you never hurt him Reagan, he hurt himself by breaking up with you. So yeah okay your his ex, but your still my best friend, and maybe I should of told him but how am I supposed to when he's half way across the world"

"Yeah I get that" I said "ugh honestly it was just so hard like I couldn't look at his face. I couldn't, but he's moved on, maybe I should too."

"I think that would be good for you Reags! Like whats stopping you" Lottie said and I shrugged

"I just wanna be focused on Romeo! He is my world now" I said

"Yeah obviously but by going on a date or two, that's not gonna ruin that, maybe this thing with niall is a good idea, but you need to be honest with Niall because he is Louis friend." Lottie explained

"Yeah I agree" I said "I couldn't become friends with him while hiding a massive lie. If we get along well I'm just gonna tell him and if he never wants to see me again then I respect that cause he's Louis friend"

"Yes that's my gal" Lottie said and smiled "don't let Louis get to you anymore, I'm sorry for how rude he was the other day"

"Don't say sorry babe" I said "it was him not you"

"But I could see his words getting to you Reags, some of the stuff he said was hard, after you left he didn't know what to do, Eleanor was so confused, he just left and she followed" Lottie explained

"I actually felt really bad on the girl. I would be confused too. She seemed nice aswell" I said

"Know what she is actually really nice, she's just hard to get along with you know" Lottie said and I nodded

"Anyways check if Nialls replied" Lottie said and wiggles her eyebrows making me laugh

I picked up my phone to see he had

@niallhoran: wow wasn't expecting you to say yes :) what about Thursday? You live in London right? x

Lottie gave me a look

"Your free Thursday right?" Lottie said and I nodded

"Think so , I'm seeing Liam tomorrow but that's it" I said

"Liam" Lottie raised her eyebrows "geez making your way around the band" she joked

"Let me be more clear, Liam and his girlfriend" I said making her nod in realisation

"Oh yeah forgot he had one" she said

"Yeah she seems lovely" I said

"Anyways I'll watch Ro on Thursday" Lottie said

"Thank you so much, I really appreciate it" I said and she smiled

@reaganwilliams: well why not, Thursday is perfect, yes I live in London :) x

@niallhoran: good good. 12 be okay for you? We can get some lunch. x

@reaganwilliams: sounds amazing, can't wait x

Me and Lottie spent the next few hours chatting

Am I doing the right thing meeting up with my ex boyfriends ex bandmate, god this is complicated

As long as I'm honest that's the main thing.