Always you (sequel to love is love)

20: Confused

5/9/19

It was now a week after Liams party and me and Louis hadn't spoke a single word to each other

He's been seeing Romeo but through Lottie, he will get Lottie to pick Romeo up and take him to him.

I understand because I feel awkward too, he cheated on Eleanor and I kinda did with Niall, were not together but we are kind of dating

I've tried to stop letting Romeo see Niall so much because I know it hurts Louis but I like Niall.

Louis hasn't had Romeo over night yet but he usually keeps him a while.

I still can't believe we kissed, the only person who knows is Maya, I feel like I can trust her and I couldn't tell Lottie cause Louis is her brother

Maya was the one who calmed me down after it all and made sure I was okay which I appreciate a lot

Romeo was just over 3 weeks and in 5 days he will be a month old which is crazy.

Me and Romeo got up out of bad and I just put us in comfy clothes as were not going out

"Your such a pretty little boy aren't you! You have the prettiest face in the whole world" I said to him making I'm make baby noises and stare at me with his big blue eyes

I heard a knock on my door making me confused

I picked up Romeo and made my way to the door

I opened it to see Louis and I put on a smile to try and be nice

"Hey" Louis said awkwardly

"Hi, what you doing here?" I asked as I looked at Romeo to avoid Louis' eyes

"I think we need to talk" Louis said sighing and I nodded

"Yeah come in" I said and let him in

"I got your address of Lottie by the way" Louis said making me nod

He held his hands out for the baby and gave Ro over

"Is that daddy" I cooed stroking my baby's head as Louis held him, he stared up at Louis

"I can't get over how beautiful he is" Louis said as we went through to the living room

"Isn't he" I said and we sat down

"Your doing so well Reagan" Louis said and gestures towards the baby

"I try my best" I sighed tiredly and sat back

Louis sat on the opposite sofa from me .

"Your a good mummy, isn't she" Louis said and I smiled slightly

Romeo soon fell asleep and Louis then put him in his cot leaving just me and him

The awkward silence commenced and I cringed

"I don't want it to be awkward" I said and he nodded

"I agree, I'm sorry about the other day, I was angry" Louis said

"I understand I wouldn't be happy seeing my baby with your girlfriend all the time" I said

"I'm glad you understand" Louis said "I'm glad your even talking to me right now"

"I can't be mad at you, your his dad, I need to get along with you whether I like it or not" I said and Louis smiled

"I'm still sorry really" Louis said sincerely, I nodded not knowing what to say and he stood up

He opened his arms for a hug, I got up and hugged him

The familiar scent of him wrapped around me hit and I felt my self get emotional

"I missed this you know" Louis said and I hummed

"I miss everything about you" Louis said pulling apart to look at my face

"Your pretty eyes" he said looking into my eyes and he stroked my face

"Your perfect hair" Louis then stroked my hair

"Your amazing smile and laugh" Louis said making me shake my head

My heart fluttered as his hand touched my cheek

"What are you doing" I whispered as he looked into my eyes

"I don't know" he said back quietly " I can't help it"

I looked from his eyes to his thin pink lips which were basically drawing me in

Before I know it my lips were back on his for the second time. I gasped as the sensation filled my body

This kiss wasn't angry and rough like the last one. It was full of passion and softness

I pulled away slightly knowing we can't

"Louis" I whispered "we cant"

"I'm sorry" Louis said and moved away "I'm such a idiot"

"Your not, it was me too, but I can't" I said as my voice croaked "I can't let my self get hurt again"

"I promise you, I have never felt worse that leaving you Reagan, I don't even know why I did, it was like I needed to, I felt like it was just gonna last while we were together all the time, I was scared of not seeing you all the time" Louis said and sat down putting his head in his hands

"So you left me all together, you left me by myself knowing how much it would break my heart, I loved you so much" I said as I felt my tears

God I'm fed up crying

"I'm so sorry!" He said and got up and started pacing "I don't even know what I was thinking, I loved you so much Reagan"

"But did you though Louis? Cause if you loved me half as much as I loved you, you wouldn't have left" I said and he frowned

"I loved you too much, that was the problem, I had never felt like that" Louis said and I couldn't help the butterflies in my tummy

"I'm fed up being sad Louis, I'm fed up crying" I said walking out the living room so we didn't wake Ro up but I made sure to take the monitor

I went to the kitchen and leaned in the counter

I felt him come up behind me and just embrace me in his arms as I cried.

"I'm so sorry" Louis croaked and I felt a couple tears from him hit my head "I am so so sorry Reagan. I hate seeing you like this, knowing I did it. I love you so much"

"You said love" I said "not loved"

"I do, I love you so much Reagan" Louis said and I felt myself shake my head

"You have a girlfriend" I said and he groaned

"I broke up with her" Louis let out making my jaw drop "last week after that kiss I knew I still loved you. I couldn't lead her on, she understood"

He wiped my tears as my whole belly fluttered

"L-Louis" I said "I can't"

He cupped my face in his hands

" I know, I broke your heart and I'm so sorry, but just know, I will earn back your trust, I will make you feel loved again, I will make you love again, I want you to be treated perfectly and I'm sorry I was a dick, but I'm gonna show you how much I love you, because I am in love with you Reagan Williams, I have been since the moment I met you, and I think I always will be" Louis said making my tears fall so much

He kissed my cheek softly sending sparks through me before walking out leaving me and my thoughts

He still loves me, he still cares, he always did, I don't know what to do

Do I love him like I did?