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panting heavily, haechan fell on the floor. it was year-end awards and he was awfully busy with practice and award shows.
he had to keep up with 2 group practices, he was indeed extremely tired.
haechan slowly started to grasp onto his head, a huge headache emerging from the lack of sleep.
with all of his schedules and end-year award shows, he didn't have enough sleep and with all of the hate he was getting from the scandals, gave him an even more better reason to work hard.
he hated his title.
the media portrayed him as a heartless, ruthless idol that held no mercy when it came to girls when in reality, it was nothing like that.
how deceiving can the media and social media be.
no matter how many positive comments there were, it was overpowered with the hate comments that only seemingly stood out to haechan. and eventually, it ended up being the only ones that stuck to him.
but he couldn't agree anymore though.
he was a disappointment.
to his fans.
to his members.
to his family.
to the staff.
to everyone.
and to make it up for everyone, he worked day and night with no rest in hopes in filling the gaps of absence.
he was the mood maker of the group, so of course, he had to carry out that name.
he smiled and laugh and made jokes all day long, wanting nothing but to make sure his own members were fine and happy.
he got so caught up with making other people happy that he soon forgot his own happiness, throwing it away as if it were nothing.
and nobody seemed to notice the gradual suffer he was going through.
he just never showed it, thinking he was already a burden to the group and that his feelings were invalid.
he felt selfish at the thought of telling his real, raw feelings to his members.
he can't afford to be sad in front of anyone. after all, there are eyes everywhere, ready to ruin him at anytime.
"hey, you good?" someone inquired worryingly in the amidst of his thoughts.
looking up slowly, haechan's gaze fell onto the person that sat next to him moments ago. "yeah, don't worry about me."
"you sure? you look..." jaemin trailed off. "you look down and not yourself lately," he drawled out carefully.
shaking his head, a small smile started to appear on haechan's face as he looked down at his lap again.
