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sunhee heaved a sighed as she began to slug down the stairs of her house. each step felt heavier and heavier as she looked at the wall filled with pictures of a familiar face. "not one of the pictures has me in it," she bitterly mumbled out.
when she got to the end of the staircase, she slightly heard the familiar screams and proud shouting in the living room along with a familiar song blasting through the air.
"our baby bear has made it, finally!" sunhee heard her mom's voice shout out in excitement.
"it's still surreal that our baby bear made it," her dad's voice echoed throughout the hallway.
sunhee internally scoffed at that, yet, she felt the ping of yearning and sadness ring within her.
they don't call me firefly anymore.
hesitantly, she dragged her feet to the living room. each step she took, she could hear the music flowing through the air and she couldn't help but feel jealousy swirl in her.
"mom, dad..." she called out quietly. "i'm going to head out," she pursed her lips.
without looking back, they both dismissively wave their hands in the air with their eyes glued to the t.v.
"i'm going to go practice at university, so if you need anything i'm there," she tried once again to gain their attention.
"just go, you don't have to tell us," her mom boringly said without breaking eye contact with the t.v. "it's him again!" she screamed with much more enthusiasm.
sunhee's eyes wavered with sadness before they flickered to the t.v. only to see the same face she has known ever since womb. "i could be getting kidnapped and they wouldn't even notice," she mumbled out quietly, leaving the room with a recognizable feeling always swirling within her ever since her teenage years.
unwanted.
she simply sighed, feeling unwanted in her own house like always. she exited out of the living and to the front door where she replaced her slippers with her dance shoes. she stood up once she tied the last knot of her shoe laces and stood there, having a small bit of hope in her. hope that her family will come and tell her they were joking and give her hugs, but like always, she was met with disappointment.
"my fantasy never become a reality," she uttered out, already knowing the silence following before grabbing the door handle and exiting the house and going to a place where she felt comfortable and wanted.
or at least, she forced the feeling of want.
☽☽☽☽☽
humidity.
humidity clung onto the air as heavy gasps could be heard in the empty practice room, the only place sunhee felt wanted and comfortable.
she plopped her butt down on the ground of the hard wood as she grabbed her water bottle. however, the only feeling she felt from within her at the moment was the feeling of never being enough.
