Hetalia Ship Roasting ft. Jass

Russia x Lithuania x Prussia

Thanks for the request, @APH_Teutonic-Prussia. You're a nice person.

So, first up. WHY IS RUSSIA THE SEME LIKE DUDE WTF.

(sorry but Russia is def not seme material)

Second, isn't Prussia supposed to lose four eyelashes or something whenever Russia touches him? Or do people like the whole "I might lose eyelashes because of you fucking me but I don't mind, I'm awesome," approach.

And considering that Prussia probably has some relation to the ancient Baltic Tribes, wouldn't he be related to Lithuania?

Incest is not wincest, oof.

Though I understand that yeah, Russia has no big deal with either, his relationship with Liet was abusive af. 

You cannot cause enough Lithuanian deaths to make it genocide and still think he's gonna forgive you.

These ships aren't bad, their personalities are fairly compatible, but there's too much that has happened between them to ever guarantee a stable romantic relationship. Both canon and irl.

I might be able to forgive PruLiet though, since as far as I know, nothing really unpleasant happened in the franchise, even if there are a few things irl. 

And Russia hasn't really hurt Prussia much, save for the time when they were kids.

Also, people get the dynamics wrong, as I mentioned earlier. I'd say that while Liet is kinda a bottom, Prussia and Russia aren't really the kinkiest dudes ever. In fact, Prussia feels really awkward with those situations, like with Hungary.

And he was a catholic order. And it's mentioned that he had to observe celibacy for that reason. 

So yeah. Weird.

Please write the ships more in line with their canon personalities. Haters-to-lovers seems to be the trope here, and OOC seems to be the thing.

And this won't work as a polygamous relationship, coz CHRISTIANITY.

No, seriously.

And thanks for reading this unedited garbage. 

Next up: Probably one of the ships rising in popularity in the fandom, Ameliet!