Heart of lies - Loki x Reader

Regret

You had been dating Loki for a year now, though you never openly announced it to the Avengers they were all aware, since Tony had informed them after your 'argument'. Every second with Loki was pure bliss, he treated you as if you were a queen, there of course were times when it seemed things would not work out for the two of you, but somehow you always found yourself back in his embrace. You had known after six months that you definitely wanted to spend your entire life by his side, perhaps even bare his children, although he wanted to take things slow, to which you respected. Every moment with him was enjoyable and you weren't about to try to hurry it up, you loved him and there was no doubt about it, anyone could see that clearly, yet in the year that you two have been dating, never has he spoken those three words, that was what pained you, it made you wonder if he actually did love you, or was just using you, although you always came to the conclusion that he showed his love through actions not words.

You laid on your back, staring at the dark ceiling, your window was slightly open, letting a cool air run through the room. Loki laid beside you, his arm draped around your waist, holding you close, his head buried in the crook of your neck, his breath fanning over your neck. He was at peace, that much you could tell, for you however it looked like it would be another restless night, full of doubt and your anxiety, always leading back to the one thought that troubled you most

Loki doesn't love me.

It was stupid and childish to let such a ridiculous thought to bother you and potentially sabotage your current relationship, but you couldn't help it. Carefully you slipped out of Loki's embrace, swiftly making your way to the bathroom, closing the door behind you, flicking the light to life. You sat on the toilet seat, pondering on your thoughts.

In his defence, you had never said those three words to him, you had always waited for him to say it, the closest you would get is "I adore you" but that was all he offered. You supposed that perhaps Asgardian do not use such words, but that was thrown out the window when you had heard Thor say it to Jane some time ago. You didn't want to feel like this of course, it was to put it simply, a horrible feeling, but everytime you try to push these thoughts away, they found their way back to you, stronger than ever.

You hadn't noticed until now, tears ran down your face at a quick pace, trying to wipe them away seemed useless, more would just take their place. You had never cried because of this topic, but you supposed your mind had had enough, and so you let yourself cry, hoping it would help you calm down once you stop. Little did you know, Loki felt the same, but kept his feelings hidden, he was good at that. He too waited for you to say those three cursed words, no. He longed for you to say those three cursed words. His eyes fluttered open, he was no longer tired, he reached out expecting to find you, but was met by emptiness, sitting up in confusion, he saw the light emitting from the cracks of the door. Assuming you had just gone to the toilet he waited, wanting nothing more than you back in his embrace. This past year had been, and he could say this with confidence, the best year of his life. Just seeing you made him happy, it was slightly out of character for him, but he found himself practically bowing down to you, trying to fulfil your every need as if he were your servant. Of course you acted the same way for him, it was obvious he loved you and even more obvious that you loved each other. He wanted nothing more than to be your husband, maybe even have a kid or two, that would only be if you wanted, he could quite easily live with you, and only you. He was quickly pulled away from his thoughts when he heard a quiet sob resonate from the bathroom, he stood up in almost an instant, advancing to the door, and leaning his ear towards it. A small sniffle sounded from inside, and immediately he thought he had done something wrong to displease you.

"Y/N, may I come in?" his voice was heavy with worry, his hand rested gently on the door handle, praying that you and him would still be together after this