ADRONITIS

chapter 49

"Jung Sera, I will fucking set this whole apartment on fire if you don't open this door!", Jaehyun shouted for the nth time, while banging on the door.

"Fuck off, flatass!", I shouted back as I covered myself using my sheets.

"That's it!", Jaehyun shouted and I heard the door being unlocked.

"Stop it", a voice said.

It became silent for a while until I heard the door slowly open, then closing.

"Hey babe", he softly said as I heard his footsteps coming towards me. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

I didn't answer. I felt the mattress sink down, sensing that he was laying or sitting beside me.

"I thought I was supposed to have cuddle time now?", he nonchalantly asked. "It's too bad, I'll be leaving with Ridin' for the whole Christmas vacation. We're going to have a road trip. I wanted to spend the most of my time with you before I left but I guess I'll just leave you be"

I panicked. He was also leaving? I looked out of the blankets to see that he was still there, sitting down beside me. I remembered how Chenle, Harvey and Mark were going to leave next year and I couldn't hold back my tears and started to cry.

"Why are you crying?", Jaemin was startled.

I sat up and hugged Jaemin by the waist and started to cry into his chest. He started to pat my back, comforting me and humming.

"Keep crying until you've released all your sadness", he said softly. "I won't leave until you're okay, so don't worry. I'll be here"

It was the same thing. I felt so guilty for being the reason why Jisung left the group chat. Everything just seemed to add up so well, I was the reason. What if he cuts ties with us forever? What will happen to all the memories we've shared? Will all that go down the drain?

"I feel so guilty", I said in between sobs. "I should've left so that they could still be in touch with Jisung. Now, we're not sure if Jisung will ever try to contact us"

"How about Instagram?", he asked.

"He deactivated his account", I answered. "Not even Chenle can contact him"

"He must have his reasons", Jaemin said with a sigh. "Whether you're a reason or not, you have to remember that you still have your own life to live"

"But still", I argued. "I feel like the guilt is slowly eating me up. I just feel like such a bad person"

"You're not a bad person, Sera", Jaemin said. "If anyone has to be a bad person, that's me"

"I just want the world to say sike and bring back the happy times", I said and broke the hug with Jaemin. I rubbed my swollen puffy eyes and looked at him. "I just wanted to set things right. It clearly didn't work"