Another Chance

These two?

Why does this happen to me? I always wonder about this and after living for almost sixteen years of life,I did realize that I was not the only one but then it feels like in my case the intensity is always greater. Tranquility was never meant for me. It was always parallel to my life and only while running along, did it brush against me ever so lightly,I am left wondering until now.

It is break time now and after answering almost hundred times the same set of questions,I need one just to retain my sanity. My head hurts and the banging pain returns but when I see my friends sitting at our table laughing away,it vanishes. I let a smile out when I walk towards them and their reciprocation is overwhelming. I missed this and just when I feel my grasp on my sanity,it is ruined. It happens so quickly that it takes some time to realize it.

The entire cafeteria goes silent and everyone has stopped doing what they were to see what's happening. Before that I feel my sides stiffen and the food in Kiera's hands Fallon the table, Lana's mouth opening up,Nareep no longer smiling and Samantha clearly irritated. Clare was staring hard at something beside me but I could not say which side. Their presence was enough to engulf me. I don't bother to look. I sit down and the endurance reaches its limit when I feel them doing the same and making mummers erupt among people. I look up at my friend's and it's clear that they are silent only because of me.

"Sit. Let's just eat and leave," I say in a clam voice and they follow but only after looking at each other. I grit my teeth and let myself cool down but then the mummers become louder and I feel my patience evaporate into thin air. My body is shivering and the fork in my hands are bending slightly. My buckles are turning white despite  having a fair complexion. They are talking about us and I hate it.

"Do eat the food before you instead of exercising your eyes admiring this view here. I assure you we have no interest in these males and they are wholly yours. Please stop the mummers because it is irritating very fibre in our body and the result might not be so welcoming," I say standing up. I use a low voice hoping they understand and thankfully they do.

They are still looking but not much. "Let's eat," I repeat and my friends begin. Reluctantly they sit and the break is a waste. Jake tries to make a conversation but he is ignored. Even his presence is not enough to cover up Nate's presence. "Lana,you have your chance now,you can bombard Jake with questions," I say as I realize that I was the only point of intersection between them. She looks at me and when Jake nods,she is encouraged. Others too want this awkwardness to vanish.

"Alright. So,um...are you really half Korean?" She asks and even though it is a dumb start,others let out laughs and this clearly lightens the mood. "Yes,I am." "Oh! So..." They continue and I cannot help but notice Nate. He looks like an outcast. "Coming back here was not the wisest decision,you know," I say and wait for an answer. "I just realised that but I know that it was worth it. I don't regret it though,"he says and he goes back to pick his food.

This is not his place or environment. He does not belong here and he knows this but why was he here? "Nate I won't ask the reason behind your action but I just hope it is not.something stupid. Don't look at me like that,it is genuine concern for a friend. What? I swear," I say and hit on his arm when he does not remove the smirk on his face. "It's a good one. Promise," he says and I cannot help but wonder. I shake my head at this. Minding his business has always been a trouble for me. He is still smirking and it irritates me. "Well I hope it does not have to do anything with green roses,"I say and raise my eyebrow knowing that it was the right button to press. He narrows his eyes and I laugh at this. Mistake! My laughter has caught attention and I find everyone looking at me as though I am a lunatic.

"What were you laughing at? Share with us. We are dying here, it's boring," Clare says and I am left wondering it the sarcasm was my imagination. "Nate was telling me about his reason of coming here," I say not bothering to give the details.
"May I ask what that is?"Clare says indicating to to him and I can clearly sense trouble  here but I don't say anything. "Leave him. Wil you?" I step in. "No let him answers. It's not like you still have feelings for him and cannot stand whatever reason he has," Nareep says and I look at Tamara . I don't know why I do that but then she is nodding in agreement.

Samantha speaks and I am more than thankful. "We don't know yet. She is still confused maybe?" I raise my eyebrows,too soon to trust. I open my mouth to say something but then someone else speaks and it is indeed surprising. "She does not like him anymore. I know it," Jake states and his tone tells me that he is serious. "I don't remember ever sharing these stuff with you,"I say. I shoots me a look indescribable and I let it drop.

"We never know." All the heads turn to that direction and a pause occurs. "You have no say here," Kiera says and this is very shocking. She never speaks. "I do and no one can take that away from me.Not even her,"Nate says and this earns him glances and gasps from people who heard it. "Sofim.." he begins but cut him off,"Please let it be." "Yeah." Now all the heads turn towards Jake for he is being a little unreasonable.  "Um Jake you okay?" I ask.

"You still like him right?" This is Arial now. I am about to open my mouth but then something else speaks for me. "She does not. Don't you get it?" Jake says. "There is no need to act like a gangster," Kiera says and I look at her in awe. "I know this that's why I like her. I am not a fool to wait for someone whom I know will never look at me," he says and I choke on my food. "What?!" Everyone says in unison.

"What? I don't see any signs that says don't like this girl, stuck on her forehead." He justifies and they are still looking me.  Nate looks pale and awkward at the same time which is amusing to look at. "Sofim will you go out with me?" Jake asks serious all of a sudden and this is now getting out of control.  It will only lead to disaster and I am sure his fandom will crush me in a minute. I don't want unnecessary attention so I choose my words carefully,"Do I need to answer that? I mean I never thought of you in that manner and I don't think I ever will but then I am not sure. No, I am not selfish but then I really don't know how to handle this. Can we pretend like this never happened?" I say.

"Alright. If you say so but I will be waiting and it is bad to keep someone waiting,"Jake says. He is so casual about this is irkish.

"Sofim can I talk to you," Nate says and I nod. "I don't mind anyone liking you but then I am worried about you. When you like someone you cross limits and then get hurt. I don't want you to get hurt. Just know what you are doing." I don't say anything. I don't know what to say. "Um..." He waves me off. I am glad he did so because I have no idea what I should I say.

"Let's go back to class now," Arial points out and we stand up to go back. I had forgotten about the two on either of my side. They stand up along with me and while walking out, I cannot help but feel wierd. "Oi, you guys should walk far from each other,and a little more further from us,there is no need for you to share the popularity with us," I mock and this irritates them but they don't leave and this fact backfires my strategy.

What am I doing here? What are they doing her? What is he doing here? And why the hell are these questions haunting me?

I know for sure that I don't harbour any sort of feelings for neither Jake nor Nate but there's always a but!

Ten years down the line,
I won't remember you
Nor will you remember me.
Allow me to do so right now
When I find it difficult to forget you.
Let me like you,
With all I have so later you remember
At least my presence
If not me.

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