Don't Fall (PJO FF)

13.) Promise

C H A P T E R  T H I R T E E N

PERCY

I would be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out. Why did I agree to that? Well, now that it's done then I've got to tell him.

Unless I just...don't. But then he'd hate me. Then again isn't that the whole point? Something's telling me that it won't be easy to make him hate me. So I guess I'll just go with it and if things go my way he'll stop talking to me.

And after that, I'll be a bigger emotional mess than I am already.

Why is life so hard? Why did mom send me here? Why couldn't I have died either time I tried today.

"-ercy. Percy!" I look up when Will calls me.

"Yeah?" He sighs.

"Are you doing okay?"

"Yeah. Just questioning my existence."

Will motions for me to move over on the infirmary bed to let him sit down. "Talk to me, Percy."

I leaned back into the pillows and shrugged my shoulders. "What's there to talk about? I don't want to be here. And I don't mean at camp, I don't want to be here."

"Well, what do you want to do. Other than trying to get yourself killed." Will pointed out after I opened my mouth.

"Why not? I deserve it anyway," I mumbled quietly, but it appears Will still heard me.

"No one deserves to die, Percy. Especially not you," he said softly.

"And that's where you're wrong. I do deserve it. So why do you guys keep saving me?" I genuinely want to know. I'm just a waste of space at this point. Their lives would be much better without me holding them down.

"Whatever you're thinking, stop it." I picked my head up and looked at him. "You're friends love you, okay. If they didn't then they wouldn't have helped you but they did. They want you to live and they want to help you, but you won't let them. You push them away when things get too bad and then you do this to yourself. Please, just let us help you. When you feel like you're about to do something, come to one of us and talk to us about it. Please." I stared at him and before I even knew what I was doing, I nodded.

"Okay. I promise." Will smiles and pulled me into a hug.

"Now, do you want to tell me why you think you deserve to die?"

I let go of Will and turned my head away from him. "I just did something bad. Something really bad two years ago. I regret it a lot but at the same time it was the best thing I've ever done." I told him quietly. "I can't tell you though. I just can't." I shut my eyes. "Please don't make me tell you. Please." Will put his arms around me again and gently ran his fingers through my hair.

"I won't make you do anything you don't want to. Just tell me when you're ready and I'll listen." I nodded my head and hung onto him like a lifeline. I rested my head on his shoulder and slowly fell asleep.

~~~~~

I woke up but I didn't open my eyes. A little bit away I heard quiet voices talking.