Dare To Love Me

Please Stay

I didn't want to wake up the next morning. I didn't want to face the day. Yes, the gala and everything was amazing and I made the headlines but in reality I felt like I was going to break down. Danielle stayed over, she made breakfast and forced me to eat because I didn't have any appetite.

"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" she asked for the hundredth time

"No I'm good, go spend the day with Max" I answered tightening my robe

"Alright, called me if you need absolutely anything" she instructed again

"Yes mom" I smiled

I walked through the halls caressing the photo on my nightstand. I was a collage of all our memories, from childhood to the year he died. I tear slipped out, I had to visit him today,I took a shower and threw on some sweatpants and a baggy shirt, I made sure I got his favorite flowers. I picked up my phone and made a call.

"Hello" his answered

"Are you home?" I asked softly

"Y-yea" he answered

"Ok, send the directions" and I hung up

He sent the directions to his apartment building and there he was waiting outside. He got in, and I drove off.

"How are you doing?" he said softly, I shrugged concentrating on the road, I pulled up at the cemetery and walked up to the only headstone that I knew shoving my hands in my pocket. He stood up next to me,

"I usually let people figure it out on their own" I started "but I owe it to you"

"Jordyn you-"

"No" I interrupted "I should"

"my parents were never around when were younger, we only had each other to fall back on as family. And we became best of friends along with Danielle" I smiled "he didn't have an issue catching girls left and right, our social life was good. But at home it was terrible. I don't know why but they always made us feel like the black sheep of the entire family. Lillian and my other cousins were perfect. We made it seem like we didn't care, but deep down it wound us deep. He had his issues, bi polar"

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologize for them" I continued "My father pressure him into the business, he tried doing it, but it just wasn't what Jason wanted for Jason, we strategize the business plan for Arlington, and brought it up to our parents, and that was the worst thing we could have ever done. They hated the idea of us having something for ourselves, my father threatened him, force a lot of thing on him, he became extremely depressed, he looked dead inside honestly speaking"

"Jason hated himself and he wouldn't even speak to me, to none of his friends, hardly mentioned the business, his future, he hated his family most of all" tear slipped from my eye "I tried to be there for him, honestly, for an entire , a month prior he locked himself in his room, I honestly thought he was a goner. I cried myself to sleep nights because I could bare to see one of the two people I cared for was in a state"

Alexander started hugging me from the side and rubbed my back. I didn't notice tears falling from my eyes. "My father finally threatened him out of his room, he started talking to me, but not like how we used to, they said he was to get married that same week. He couldn't run away, my father would find him, my father was, well still is for his own good" I started breathing heavy "the wedding and everything was planned for him in the next two days and he would be signed as CEO and the contract wasn't the regular job contract."

Alexander sat us down, he knew I was feeling weak. "It was a regular day, I left my mother's boutique, were supposed to meet for lunch, he called as I left to meet him at the office, to cancel the meeting"

FLASHBACK

I put on my coat leaving the boutique for lunch with Jason, I think he was finally about to open up to me. I got in my car and started driving when he called.

"Hey Jordyn" he sniffled

"Hey jay, I just left, I'm like 10 minutes away" I said honking my horn at a slow driver

"Don't bother" he sighed "I can't make it, I love you"

"Jason, what the hell you need a break"

"You wouldn't fucking understand Jordyn" he shouted "I can't fucking do it, just don't come near the office"

"What are you talking about" tears whelmed up in my eyes I focused on driving faster

"Jordyn, I love you, i just can't, bye" he hung up

"Jason!" I shouted, slamming my hand on the wheel that I broke a nail, I tried calling him back but It just went to voicemail. I raced over to the office and there was a crowd, the attention was focused on someone on the roof. Blue and red lights flashed in the area, and there he was, at the edge.

"No, Jason," I shouted crying, I pushed my way to the front of the crowd. I couldn't believe it, emotions rippling through me that I couldn't even understand.

'Don't do it, please don't do it' I chanted, my body making sturdy movements but my limbs captured. I looked around and the police held me, pulling me away. "let me go, that's my brother.'' I swear I was screaming my lungs out but it was barely above a whisper. I struggled in their grasp throwing an entire fit

And then it happened. He fell. I closed my eyes, I couldn't watch it, I was crying, I was weak, I couldn't move at all. I just cried and cried and cried the entire time. Everything was moving so fast around me and I blacked out.

END OF FLASHBACK

I was in full blown tears, I never told the story and it felt like I was reliving the moment all over again. All the emotions, the heartbreak, the weakness and numbness. Alexander held me while I cried in his chest.

"I'm sorry Jordyn" he said

"It's alright" I sniffled drying my tears "Some moments I can't believe it was real, when I woke up front the hospital 2 days, I thought it was a dream, I asked for him, and no one would answer me, it was all over the new along with me in the hospital"

"I nearly did the same thing he did, then I became angry at him, then in all honesty I was lost, Danielle was by my side the entire time, cause both of us lost it. My parents looked like they couldn't be bothered, like they didn't just lose a son"

I stopped crying by then; I laid my head on his chest, the comfortable moment of silence

"I wish I could have met him" Alexander announce

"I wish you could have too," I said softly holding his hand. We intertwined our hands together, and he kissed me on my forehead.

We left the cemetery, he offered to drive home since I was mentally incapable of doing so. I dozed off during the car ride, I didn't even realize that he put me in bed. He was about to leave, I knew if he left I would wake up and the rest of the day would be a nightmare.

"Wait," I said softly, brushing the curled out of my face, he turned around waiting for me to say something else. "Please stay"

"Jordyn I-" his eyes softened when he looked at me "Ok" he smiled.

I made space for him and I cuddled on his chest while he wrapped his arms around me. I felt something, something I haven't felt in my entire life.