Shackles on the heart (Book #1)

23. The little things

(RaeAnna's POV)

I haven't been the same RaeAnna since that horrific night, I'm pretty sure everyone has noticed, especially Lincoln. He has been trying extra hard to put a smile on my face, all I can manage is a tiny grin, but even that feels forced. I can see the sadness in his eyes, that look that tells me he knows something is seriously wrong with me. What can I do? I murdered a man, I took away somebody's life, because those devils threatened me to. I can't even cry about it, I'm having a hard time feeling anything. Today I'm going to have Lincoln come over so I can tell him what has been going on, I thought hard about how to confront him about my twisted secrets that have consumed in my life, I think I can pull it off, I have to.

School has just ended, I head out to find Lincoln and Dakota talking. "Hey guys." I tell them. "Hi Rae." "Hi Ann." They both say in unison. "Lincoln can you come over today please? I need to talk to you about.. um our friendship." I tell him, hoping he gets the underlying secret message hidden in between my words. "Okay, yeah sure. Let me just go tell my dad, then I'll go home with you. I'll be right back." Dakota looks up to me, staring me dead in the eyes. "Rae, are you feeling okay?" Dakota inquires. I'm a little taken aback, even my little brother has noticed that I'm not right lately. "Yeah baby, I'm fine. Don't worry about your big sister, okay? You just let me worry about you."

He looks like he wants to say something else, when Lincoln comes back. "He said I could come over for a few hours. Let's go shall we. Ladies first."

We all pile into my grandma's car, to go home. Once we make it I tell Gramma I need to talk to Lincoln in private and I promise Dakota we will play with him later. I grab Lincoln's hand and pull him into my room. "So.. you wanted to talk about.. our friendship? What about it?" I nod and begin talking. "Actually it's about Sarah. You know you are the best friend I have ever had right? I hope you know that." He looks a little confused until I put my finger over my lips and mouth to him 'play along' he shakes his head up and down telling me he understands. "Yes, ofcourse I know I'm your best friend. What are you trying to tell me?" I point to a folded up piece of paper that I wrote a few days ago explaining everything, the look in his eyes telling me that everything is starting to click into place inside of his brain."I need you to give this letter to Sarah, but you can't say a word to anybody. This is for Sarah's eyes only. Do you understand? Make sure she gets this, I'm telling you because you are the only person that I trust enough to get it delivered to her. I had to say we needed to talk about our friendship at school because I didn't want anyone to overhear me talking about her. I just had to say some last things to her, this letter will explain. everything."

He gets exactly what I'm trying to do. He walks up to me and tells me "I understand." While giving me a long, comforting hug. "Okay let's go play with Dakota, shall we?"

"Yeah let's go." My tiredness doesn't allow me to play for long, but it gave us a little brother and sister time. Lincoln picked up my slack for me so I could sit down for a while, Gramma makes us dinner, I ate as much as I was able, until it's time for a Lincoln to go. "Don't forget about the letter okay? He nods. "You got it Ann."

He leaves and I'm left lost deep in my thoughts once again. I hope he understands. I hope he is still my best friend after this.

(Lincoln's POV)

I'm anxious to read RaeAnna's letter, I know it's for me. I'm tapping my foot nervously on the floorboards, ready to get to my house, whatever it is inside of this letter must be very important. We finally pull up and I hop out impatiently, I go inside and up to my room, locking my door and pulling out the paper from my back pocket, I slowly open it and start to read.

Letter- link, before I begin explaining what is going on, I need you to keep this a secret. I'm putting it all at risk by telling you this. My family's life is at stake here, my life is in danger along with Kota and my Grandma's. If I tell they will die, so you cannot under any circumstances tell a soul what is in this letter, I am literally trusting you with my life. Please I trust you with all of my heart. There are some dangerous people threatening me all under the orders of my so-called father. My father's name is William. He is a very horrible individual, he has abused me and my brother our whole lives, my mom got most of the abuse. The only time he wouldn't abuse her was when he wasn't around to do it. He abused all of us physically and emotionally. This is the reason I have never told you about him or brought him up. A while back he hurt me really bad, and attempted to kill Dakota and I. He stabbed me, twice. I lost a lot of blood, I almost died, after that we didn't see him around for a while. I knew he would come back for us, he always does. Recently my intuition was proved right, he came back. He has put people up to watching us 24/7. They always have their eyes on us. Lately they have been sending me boxes with letters and different items, which you seen that day. These people are evil Lincoln, the letters they have been sending me, they're making me do bad things. If I don't do them they will kill Dakota and my grandma, probably my sister to. I can't go to anyone, they said they paid the police to get them on their side, they will know if I tell, so that's why you can't say anything and you can't act like you know about this. I hope you understand the seriousness of the situation. They're turning me into a monster, they're making me hurt people, I've already hurt two men. They call me "their weapon" they made me kill a person Lincoln. I am a horrible person, I'm not the victim here, please don't take pity on me.. I am a murderer. I haven't felt the same since after I did it. They changed me, they took away my innocence. My only hope is that you don't feel different about me, if you feel any different I only need you to promise me to never tell anybody about this, please. I still want you to be my best friend, I understand if you never want to talk to me ever again, just know I will never ever forget you. -ann

I am in tears reading her letter, this beautiful soul has been through so much, her father sounds like a despicable person. How could he put his family through this? How can he threaten his daughter to do such horrible things? I can't even begin to wrap my head around this, there's no way I could ever stop being her friend, I told her I would always be here, I meant that. She is in much more danger than I could have ever imagined, but that does not change my feelings towards her, nothing could ever change that. I now need to be here for her more than ever, she desperately needs me in her corner. I will not let her down, she still is and will always be my best friend, no matter what.

(RaeAnna's POV)

Morning comes around, I know Lincoln has read the letter by now. I am terrified that he will hate me, like I hate myself.

We arrive at school, I'm scared to death to see him. Will I lose my best friend? I couldn't deal with it if I were to lose him, he means the world to me. I see Lincoln, he is looking around for something, until he locks his blue eyes with mine, he walks towards the car, waving at my grandma. I get out and he pulls me into one of the biggest, sweetest, most loving hugs I have ever received in my entire life. He seems hesitant to let me go. He whispers in my ear "I'll always be here for you, I told you that. I promise I'm not going anywhere Ann, okay?"

I breathe a sigh of relief and start crying involuntarily, that is exactly what I needed to hear, he is just amazing. I can't believe he is still deciding to stay by my side, even after he found out the worst parts of me, I am so grateful to have him, it felt great to tell someone about this. It's me and him against this now, it's the little things like having an awesome best friend such as Lincoln that will never abandon me no matter what I do, no matter the problems that I have to face, that makes this life worth it. I hold onto him tight, like i'm hanging on for dear life, not wanting to let go. "Thank you so, so, so much. I thought you would leave me. I can never repay you enough for this." I whisper back into his ear. "I meant it when I said we are friends for life. Please never forget that." He tells me. What did I do in this life to get so lucky to have a friend like him? I will forever be thankful for this amazing soul that will stand by me through thick and thin, my link, my angel, my best friend