Spear of the Winds (riordanverse ff)

Chapter 13

It's hard to measure the time in Valhalla, but thanks to helping in Chases' house I know three months have passed. I used to the battles and killing, but I still did it with reluctance. I soaked into the group, but I mostly talked with Alex and TJ, sometimes egging on Fierrochase to do more steps. What? It was an innocent play and they liked it.

As I said I was helping in Chase's house instead of battles to do some rest. I was cooking with Amir and sometimes cleaning up the cabinet, where cleaners weren't allowed to enter. I liked this work, probably because of that I could help homeless children, which I was one of back in Tokyo.

But today TJ invited me on watching the stars together. We did this few more times since the first one and no one knew about it. We usually talked with each other or watched the stars in silence. TJ told me that a few people knew about this place and he found it someday when he was chasing his old enemy. He explained that it shows places, where the stars are the brightest and he got to know it was using for observing them in scientific aims, because it wasn't just projecting them but even bringing the viewer partly to this place.

When I peeked inside, TJ was already sitting there. He spread the blanket and some pillows on the floor and invited me with gesture. I squatted next to him, slipping off my boots. The stars were already shining over our heads. I lay down on pillows and wrapped my legs in blanket. TJ lay next to me, looking at me instead of the stars.

-Hey, don't look at me, we're here to watch the stars! – I giggled, looking upright.

-I'm watching something prettier than the stars – he said with sigh and turned his face to the sky.

I looked inside him with my magic. He was happy that he could spend time with me, but something was bothering him. He was restraining from something.

I didn't tell him that I was checking his feelings every day. His love to me didn't fade, what more, it was growing day by day, but also with impatience and kind of void inside him. It hurt me really bad, watching him suffer, but I couldn't find the moment to talk about it with him. I feared that he would get offended that I breached his privacy.

I tried to understand him, so I closed my eyes and focused on his feelings, till they became mine. I was overwhelmed with pain which was eating him slowly from the inside. I understood how I was spiking him, flirting but at once remaining unavailable. He loved me enough to restrain from pressing me but he also wanted me whole.

I nearly started crying but I lifted my chest to sat on the blanket and stopped tears. I surfaced from his feelings but their echo stayed inside me.

-What's wrong? – asked TJ worried and rose to sit.

-I'm sorry... I... - I stammered, hiding my face in hands.

-Hey, why are you apologizing? – He took my hand and looked into my eyes.

-I saw your feelings... I'm sorry – I couldn't help crying. – I'm sorry that I breached your privacy and I'm sorry that I was wounding you all the time... - I said, feeling my tears flowed down.

He smiled lightly and dried them with his thumb. Gods, his eyes were sparkling in starlight so beautifully.

-It's not your fault – said TJ, looking down my face and coming back to my eyes.

-Yes, it is – I sobbed. – I made you wait for too long.

-It was worthy – he whispered. – But please, don't cry.

He leaned to me and kissed my lips gently. Even if I cut my mind off his heart, his and my love mixed together, making a strong mixture. I deepened the kiss, clasping his shirt on his back.