Through the Years

Chapter 3

Louis smiled at his children, he shuffled around in the armchair until he was comfortable and continued with the story of his life.

..............

Louis didn't expect the boys to be as popular as they were. He sat on the tour bus shaking his head. Louis was the one who laughed and joked, he was always so confident and didn't care what others thought of him, but this hit him a different level. He was actually scared, this was completely different, they were on their own. This was their own tour and now they were performing in front of actual fans. 

Harry sat down next to Louis and sighed.

"Come on Lou, the others are waiting outside for you, it's the first night of our first ever tour."

"I'm errr. not feeling well, go on stage without me." Louis mumbled.

"What's gotten into you lately Louis?  You've been so quiet recently."

"I'm jut not ready Harry, I can't go out there on stage."

"Well I suppose we should just cancel the tour, that's it no more One Direction." harry sighed.

"Why would you cancel the tour?" Louis questioned.

"Well we're not One Direction without our Louis, we can't perform without you, so we may as well cancel and tell the world that it's all Louis Tomlinson's fault as he has stage fright."

"No, I'm sorry I'm just nervous, what if I mess up? What if I say the lyrics to our songs wrong?"

"Lou, this is our tour, we can do whatever we want, its our chance to be ourselves. It's okay if you mess up, we'll all just laugh it off, the fans have come to see us because they love and support who we are as individuals, if you ever worry all you need to do is look at me and know that everything is okay." Harry said grabbing Louis hand.

They looked at each other momentarily and did not move, they didn't say anything either, they just stared into each other's eyes.

"Okay let's go and smash his tour." Louis said squeezing Harry's hand tighter and pulling him into a massive hug.

Throughout the whole concert that night whenever Louis panicked or wanted some reassurance he would look at Harry and everything seemed to be better, as Harry would wink or smile at his best friend. Louis knew that all he needed in life was his best friends and that everything else would be fine.

"That was incredible." Niall squealed coming off the stage.

The five boys all nodded and pulled each other into a hug and all returned to the tour bus and went straight to sleep all that adrenaline tired them out and they had another busy day tomorrow. 

As all the boys were wriggling in their beds and snoring one of  the boys was still awake, and that boy was Louis Tomlinson, he couldn't sleep. He had too much on his mind, so he put his shoes on and stepped outside in the cold brisk air and sat down on the grass.

"It's so beautiful out here at night isn't it? harry said sitting down next to Louis and wrapping a coat around Louis shoulders.

"Yeah it is. I just came out here to think."

"What about?" Harry asked.

"I don't know, just about today, I guess. Up on that stage I was about to have a panic attack. I've never had one before and that scared me. But When I looked up at you that thought of panic went away. Whenever I looked at you on that stage I saw how much fun you were having and that made me really happy because I have met the four most wonderful people in my life. I have met someone so down to earth and humble like yourself Harry and I guess I wouldn't change any of this experience because this is the happiest I've been in a long time."

"I'm glad I could make you feel better, you deserve so much Louis and I'm always here for you, don't forget that."

Harry leaned closer, in that moment Louis thought he was going to finally kiss his best friend. He thought he was going to finally feel his touch, he wanted to lay next to Harry and listen to his heartbeat, to put his hands through his luscious curly hair, to just tell him how he felt. But he couldn't, Harry didn't see Louis the way he wanted to be seen, Harry was only a friend to Louis and that hurt him a little more everyday.

Louis was in love with his best friend, as he sat their on the grass embracing Harry's hug all the emotions he felt for Harry had risen to the surface. It wasn't poetic or romantic for that matter, falling in love with your best friend when they don't love you back hurts, it didn't make Louis stronger. It just hurt and it will hurt Louis for a long time, because his first love didn't want him, his first love wasn't interested in boys and because Louis wasn't good enough for someone like Harry. and that hurt Louis, he didn't really understand it himself but he knew he wanted Harry, He needed Harry.

The two of them sat their in silence for a moment just looking up at the stars, if only Louis could read harry's thoughts maybe then he could figure out if Harry liked him or not. A few more hours passed until Harry was peacefully asleep on the grass. Louis looked down at Harry and smiled, he was so beautiful lying there. Louis lifted him up with all the strength he had despite Harry being taller than Louis and put him to bed, he then got into bed himself and fell asleep thinking about Harry.

...............

"Good night angel's Louis said, kissing Ella and Freddie on the forehead.

he walked out their bedroom and sat down on the sofa, he took his phone out his pocket, until he landed on Harry's number. he hovered over it for a brief second and pressed the call button.

Louis shook his head frantically, he hadn't spoken to Harry in so long, he was about to hang up when he heard a voice on the other end.

"Hello, who is this?"

"Harry is that you? It's me Louis Tomlinson"

Louis waited for a moment for a reply, he heard heavy breathing from the other end of the phone but then the line went dead.

Louis sighed and threw his phone onto the floor. That was everything Louis needed, Louis was stupid to think that Harry still cared, that Harry remembered him, it had been so long. What did Louis think he was going to achieve by calling the boy he once shared his life with?

Harry had moved on, he didn't care or forgive Louis, how could he and why would he? 

Louis ruined everything, he broke Harry's heart, he destroyed lives and caused so much pain that he had no one anymore

Louis had to let go of the past, he had to let go of Harry. Harry didn't want him anymore and that phone call proved it.

"Are you crying over Harry again?" His partner asked.

"Yes, I called him today, I just wanted his forgiveness. I know I left it too late but he as soon as he heard it was me, he didn't let me explain he just hung up the phone."

"You still love him don't you?"

"Yes, after all these years I love him and I can't imagine the day that I won't."