Memory Jar

Chapter 4

Merlin was surprisingly quiet during their travel. Which was odd. Not because Merlin had been real chipper or talkactive before – well he had been, but how would Arthur know that?
But there was an anxious air around him. Like he was scared that any second the king would just appear around the next corner or from behind the next tree and kill them.
Or worse. Order Merlin to kill Arthur.

Arthur still wasn't sure what Merlin meant, when he said he couldn't refuse those orders.

But he guessed that was a problem they would have to face another day. They were going to face it. Arthur was not so oblivious that he didn't expect it. But he knew they could postpone it for some time.
Leon would tell the king something about a "lead", that Merlin had in finding Arthur Pendragon. (Which – to be fair – wasn't even a lie.)
And where he couldn't need any knights as distractions.
He would return as soon as the prince was found.
That was their story. And it may buy them at least two weeks to change location before the king may get wary.
And if Merlin send letters regulary, they might be able to postpone it for another – let's say two or three years. Should the king permit his stay somewhere on the country side for that amount of time.

They traveled. Mostly at night. And at first Arthur thought about leaving Camelot for good. But Arthur had decided on visiting Morgana instead.

Arthur didn't know exactly where she was. That was a secret she kept from him. Like the cryptic she was.
However, she always knew where to find him. Or how. Or when he'd come.
Arthur knew the vague direction of where she currently lived and he knew that should they get close to her location – SHE would send HIM a letter and tell them where she was.
Bloody sorceress.
Unnecessary precaution. Then again, when he looked at Merlin... it wasn't that unnecessary was it?

They made camp for the third time since they left Brieldier.

And once again, Merlin was awfully quiet. Had been the previous day as well. And the day before that. And before that one too. And it gnawed on Arthur's insides. It just seemed – wrong.

Arthur sighed. "Come on, Merlin. What are you so gloomy about?!", he jabbed him in the side, but Merlin ignored him, erratically trying to make a fire with two stones he had with him.
Arthur had mentioned it the first night they camped. That Merlin could just use magic to make the fire. But Merlin insisted that he liked doing it the traditional way.
It was probably just a habit.
A habit of when? When he was still hiding how powerful he was? More than a year ago. Probably.
Why the hell did Merlin hide anyway? He was powerful enough to kill Uther Pendragon with a flick of his wrist. Why on earth would someone like him have to hide?
Merlin didn't tell him. He had just looked a bit stunned at the question, like Arthur was the unreasonable one of the two.

"Come on Merlin, I haven't seen you smile those past three days."

Merlin's head shot up. An incredulous look in his eyes. "What?"
Was it weird that Arthur was counting? No. Definitely not. It was just obvious. Merlin always smiled. Or – should. Arthur would have thought he did.
Then again, Merlin had not been smiling most of the days Arthur now knew him.

"I hardly have any reason to smile these days.", Merlin said, and sadly poked around in the fire that was slowly rising now.
Arthur's own grin dropped, as he decided to finally sit down next to Merlin.
Maybe Merlin regretted traveling with Arthur already? Arthur felt a low feeling clench in his guts. He ignored it reasonably.

"I think you worry too much. We'll be fine." Arthur sounded more firm and confident than he felt. Then again – had had always swallowed down his insecurities. At least – he thought he did. He never knew for sure if it came to the person he used to be.