Memory Jar

Chapter 12

"Emrys, do you remember the day Uther Pendragon died?", Agravaine said, as he made himself at home in Merlin's and Arthur's house.
Merlin was praying desperately that Arthur wouldn't come home now. If he did, Arthur's life would be in danger.
Merlin pressed his lips together and nodded. He felt like he was tied to his chair, while Agravaine cut himself a slice of bread.

"Do you also remember who your loyalty lies with?", Agravaine asked and raised an eyebrow with a grin.
'My loyalty lies with Arthur.', Merlin wanted to say, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything. So he nodded instead. Not daring to challenge Agravaine.

"I ordered you to listen to Mordred's orders as long as I see fit. The time has come for you to be a one man shadow. You will only listen to ME. Understood?"

Merlin knew his eyes were flaring red again. He nodded, tears already burning in his eyes.
"Good. Your holidays are over. You are coming with me.", Agravaine said.
Merlin felt the order tug at his heart. Somehow, he felt even less free than before. His ties to Mordred were broken. But in their stead another set of chains was placed. All connected to one man. Agravaine.

The traitor of Camelot. Apparently it didn't matter who was king.
Agravaine would always betray the kingdom. The people in charge. His own family. His friends. People he pretended to care about.

If Mordred knew about this – if Kara did! Kara would be so mad if she learned Merlin wasn't Mordred's puppet anymore.
"Yes, Sire.", Merlin's head bowed. He needed to in front of royalty. That too – had once been an order he couldn't refuse to obey.

Agravaine watched him from his seat. Drinking a cup of wine slowly.
"You know – I noticed you keep watching the door. Are you waiting for someone?"
Merlin bit his lip. He couldn't lie. Not even now.
"Yes.", he said. It was barely enough information to satisfy the order of never-lie that he had received oh so long ago. But it was as much as he would dare to admit.
He fiddled with his hands under the table. Moreover – he fiddled with the ring Arthur had gifted him about a year ago. Back when he had proposed to Merlin. A nervous habit he hardly ever noticed. Agravaine did.

"Show me your hands.", Agravaine seemed to be guessing his distress. Seemed to know precisely what was going on. Merlin hissed a deep breath and held his hands out for Agravaine to see.
He closed his eyes, already knowing that Agravaine would laugh at the sight.
He was right. Agravaine barked out a laugh.

"Oh god, Emrys.", Agravaine looked plenty amused. "You didn't seriously think you could live a happy and normal life out here? Married – really." The man shook his head.
"Trust me, Emrys. Love isn't a thing someone like you should worry about. It doesn't suit your power."

Merlin hated him more and more with every word.
"Where is she?", Agravaine asked, looking around. "I'd love to meet her."
Merlin should probably point out the mistake in that sentence, but he found – if Agravaine made wrong assumptions – then that was his own fault. That wasn't a lie Merlin had told him. It was a lie Agravaine told himself and that would stand uncorrected as long as possible.

Merlin sighed. "I don't know. Went out this morning, hasn't come back yet. Didn't tell me where." He avoided using 'He' in that sentence. Not like that was needed anyway.
Agravaine's amusement grew.

"You don't think she's cheating on you, are you?", Agravaine asked and shook his head in mock sympathy. Why was he saying that? To taunt Merlin? "Since she's not here and you don't even know where she is?

"She would never!", Merlin shot back. And then – blanked.
'Wait. Did I just -?!' Merlin was confused. Did this not count as a lie? That was strange.