𝔚𝔥𝔞𝔱'𝔰 𝔅𝔢𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔊𝔬𝔩𝔡𝔢𝔫 𝔏𝔦𝔣𝔢 (✔)

54

Beomgyu

Me and Kai sat face to face on my bed freshly showered as he wait for me to you know spill the tea.

"I'm sorry" I started and he nodded telling me to go on. "I know you want me to get to the point so here goes. I have been feeling paranoid lately. You know after all these years we have been together I doubted myself and you as well. I began to think that I might not be enough to make you really happy. I also thought that you might be unsure about me. You might grew tired of me and you will soon break up with me. I don't know when did it really start but I think, it is when I heard one of the female employees talking about having a crush on you and then you two started to talk and then everything just you know start to flash in front of me. Also. . . . . there is this feeling of fear inside me every time I saw or hear anything about wedding. . . . . I began to think I may not be enough to marry. You might want a happy family, something I cannot give. . . . . I'm sorry I know I shouldn't have doubted you but I just. . . . I don't know. . . .  I'm so scared to loose you. . .  I think" I fell tears fall from my eyes as I wipe them and look at him.

He's smiling. . .

His hands reached out and grab my hands.

"First of all, you're beautiful, handsome, pretty, cute, and sexy at the same time. Second of all, you know for a fact how much I care for you. I never want anything bad to happen to you. Lastly, you are more than I could ever ask for. Seeing you makes my day, being with you makes me ecstatic and loving you makes my life. I could never ask for anyone else because you're here, in front of me. I also want to remind you again that you are my first love and my last. I have never felt so sure about something rather than loving you and staying with you for life. No one and I mean no one can replace you in my heart. And baby bear, breaking up is the only thing that never crosses my mind when it comes to you. Fights, laughter, tears, sadness, misunderstandings, silent treatment, anger, doubt, physical and mental pain, emotional pain, those things crosses my mind but breaking up with you? I can't do that. It's like killing myself in a painful death but I won't die or worse. I cannot imagine life without you in it Bear. And I am still not proposing to you because aside from I still don't want your dad to be alone, I want me to be more than ready because I want to make sure everything from the engagement to the wedding will be magnificent as I know how much you want it and so do I. I want to assure you, you have nothing to be paranoid about baby bear. I love you so much, you know that"

I can't help the tears from falling as he speak. I can't help the overflowing emotions inside me from what he has said.

I push him down making him lay down as I lay down on top of him embracing him as tight as I can burying my face on his chest as I sob.

"Sshh it's alright you don't have to feel sorry Beargyu"

I let out a laugh at how he call me.

"I just . . . .  I love you" he rub my back as his other arm was wrapped around me.

"By the way, what do you mean about you cannot give me a happy family?"

I look up to meet his eyes.

"A family consist of the parents and. . . . and. . . . and the child. . . . we both know I cannot . . . . . . I cannot give you one" I lay my head on his chest as I say the last words.

I felt him kiss my head still rubbing my back.

"Don't give up just yet, we'll never know. Just don't think about it first. Remember we still have an engagement and wedding before that"

He sat up making me straddle him as i smiled.

"How baby bear, stop overthinking things ok? hmm I also want to make  confession. I also felt paranoid just like you. I thought of things like you loving another and such but every time I see you smile and hear you say you love me, those thoughts vanish. I think that will be of great reassurance that I won't leave you"