How Can You Be So Trusting?

Chapter 43 - Back To Normal? No.

I drew a wholesome Green smiling

Tw: Masturbation mention(just Remus saying it), death mention, sucide mention, fire mention.
Janus'  P.O.V

It had been 2 months since Logan had been released from hospital. School was now reopened, and everything was getting back to normal. I'm glad I could say that much. It could never go back to normal.

But I guess we have a new normal now. And that's okay.

Remus and his mother helped me renovate the guest room into my very own room. They offered Roman's but I knew they really wanted to keep it in the same way it was before he died. My room how now lemon wallpaper, with unironically, lemons on them and black carpet.

Christine also allowed me and Remus to get some rats as pets, we keep them downstairs. Remus' rat is called Prince and mine is called Cake. Funny name choices, rught?

Logan's father got put into prison again after he was found guilty of arson, the fire being...our house. Him and my aunt also got a restraining order againest him to make sure he stays away, but that's only on paper.

Patton, Remy, Emile, Loki and Remus' parents also all assisted on getting them back on their feet and now Aunt Nayomi now has the bakery of her dreams. Ever since I've known her she's wanted this so it really brought a tear to my eye when she told me.

Emile, Remy and Loki have declared themselves the Fabulous Fanboys after they all began watching a show they all slowly began to fanboy over. They all really have gotten closer and Loki has really molded into our friend group nicely.

Logan and Remus got together after several days of complaining and denying their love to one another to yours truly. Its cute, but they descided to take it reasonable slow. Remus however has a habit of now tracing the outline of Logan's burn, he doesn't mind it that much anymore, and its cute.

Me and Patton have been alright after everything cooled down, every weekend we go on dates to just escape from the world around us and be with each other, I really love it so much.

Me, Remus and Logan all had to spend 2 weeks in a psychiatric hospital to manage all of our baggage after being reccomended through our group therapist. It really helped and the fire no longer scares me as much. Sometimes things go for the worse, but I remind myself that it's going to be fine.

Virgil however only had sessions by himself which is good.

I looked along all the photos along my wall.
The aquarium with the gang,
The zoo with Patton,
A museum with Remus, Logan and Patton on a double date,
Photos from my mothers and Roman's funeral with the gang,
Patton with Emiles dog, Caramel, with Virgil, Emile, Remy, Loki and me.
Virgil sitting on a table with Smokey his cat with Logan being confused in the background.
Several pictures of my mother,
And so many other memories with them.

But last but not least...A group photo with everyone. Virgil held Romans photo in the photo as we all stood around his grave. We needed a picture of him here as well.

Framed next to it was the letter he wrote to me:

'Dear Janus,

I apologise for leaving so sudden. We didn't even get a chance to know each other better unfortunately. I'm sure you are a wonderful person. Well at least Patton says you are, he talks about you a lot so you must be.

But first let me explain why I did what I did. Just to  ask from a dead man. Tell no one. You must be sworen to secrecy. It'd hurt the others too much.

Thank you.

I was having quite a few difficulties with self estime which led to a number of more problems regarding mental health. I did not tell the others because I didn't want to worry them and I couldn't admit it. I wouldn't what to see what they thought so I ran away from it all like a coward.

Another thing was family. Remus is harsh and hurts me any chance he gets, I still wonder why he most likely hates me. I but said nothing about it to my parents. Now my parents, they are lovable and wonderful but they aren't mine and Remus'. Our parents got killed in front of our eyes when  we were 7 years old and we've never been the same since. Remus because violent and I put on a facade. I don't even know who I am anymore. I'm just there slowing dying with each breath.

Along with that, recently, I found that we had another sibling. Yes, we have another sibling. Me, Remus and her are triplets apparently. We don't know her name. We don't know where she is and why she was sent away from us. All we know is that she exists. Well I know. Remus will find out about it but I've been hiding it from him ever since. I don't want him to feel guilty. He thinks of the oddest reasons for thing and this won't be any better. I was protecting him.

And then Logan. Logan was my best friend. We've known each other since I was 7. We were both in the police station when we met. Me and Remus were taken in for statements about our parents death. Whereas, Logan we have no idea why he was taken in which made me suspious about it. When I was 10 I found out. Logan never had his father in the picture at least I thought that until I decided to snoop around his house one time. I found out that when we were 7, he was writting a statement about his father. Apparently he had been abusive to him and alchol and drugs I hated knowing about it. I hated knowing about the pain he had been though. His father had been taken into prison for 9 years. This year he had been released from prison.

Then comes Logan's suicide attempt. I know exactly why he did it, he told me. One day, I visited him in the hospital and he told me. The day he had come back from prison she was as worse as ever. He was cruel to him and blamed him for everything and if anything went wrong he'd get a beating. Quickly, he became sick of it all and attempted suicide. Which us what he meant by he's sick of it all. Why he never told anyone is because he didn't want it to get worse.

I'm sorry for what I've done. You've been a wonderful friend to me through the little time we've known one another. Please help the others through it and they help you if you need it. I know you'll still be the great person that I knew and that you'll get past this and come back stronger!

Signing off for the last time,
                                                  Roman♡'

Everytime I read it...I'm reminded of how little time I spent with him throughout the time I knew him. I'm sure he would be so happy now if he was alive.

"JANUS, STOP JERKING OFF TO A PICTURE OF PATTON AND GET YOUR ASS IN THIS CAR!" I heard my best friend yell from downstairs.

"I WAS TOTALLY DOING THAT LIKE ALWAYS, NOT!" I chuckled as I grabbed my bag and ran downstairs. I've gotten more comfortable with lying now, I know I don't have to be completely honest but it's also good to have a laugh once in a while.

And there they were, Logan, Patton, Remy, Loki, Emile and Virgil. Just like old times, but not like old times, this is now.

And now is a good place to be. Because a dream is only a wish your heart makes.

End. 1358 Words.

WOWEE, this book was a rollercoaster. Man what am I going to do now? I'll figure that out later,

I hope you enjoyed my book!

Thanks you and good night/day peeps!