Benedict Cumberbatch: Life With Ben

Chapter Thirty Two: Fangirl Anatomy

"Well, class, it's the last day until you can all go home to your beautiful families and friends for Christmas, so lets make it the last day to remember. Moss stand up please!" Hills said pointing to a bunged up fangirl, dying slowly from man flu- otherwise known as Moi. I stood up and straightened my pleated skirt and tightened my wolly scarf, before loosening it slightly. "Stand up Roy!" William stood up. "Both of you come to the front of the class please and would you both do me the honours of reading this script aloud". I turned to Hills and croaked, "Hill's I can barely speak let alone read a script aloud. Please don't make me do it!" Hills rolled his eyes and looked at William and said, "She's ill again! You know what you have got to do!" William looked at me and smiled apologetically before his stupidly goofy Duke's-son head nodded and scooped me up off of the floor and threw me into the air until I laughed. Somehow this worked. But the boys found this more enjoyable than anticipated. They would applaud and laugh their very posh laughing ways. "I'm not doing it still I'm sorry!" Hills smiled and said "Okay, okay put her down before we all catch something. I don't fancy catching girl germs!" Hills laughed just in time for the bell to go off to tell everyone its time to go home.

I walked over to my dormitory to collect my stuff and to say my goodbyes for a month or so as it was the 1st December. "Claud, I just want to say, I'm so proud of you!" Adelaide smiled as I walked into the room. "Thank you, lovely. I couldn't have done it without you." I replied as I picked up my backpack and a cardboard box full of folders, photo albums and Colin the Teddy Bear. "Do you forgive me for that party we had on our first day back?" "It wasn't a party, Ad! It was me and you and our teddies having a teddy bear picnic! I loved it though! Even if you did invite Wills & Dean!" I laughed. I threw my backpack on to my back and picked up my box and said to Adelaide, "Sweetie, take care of yourself! Have a good Christmas!" She smiled and nodded as I left the room to be greeted by William. "Leaving without saying goodbye, to your handsome best friend, are you?" I smiled and added, "No, of course not, I've already said goodbye to Adelaide, and I was about to say Ciao to Dean!" I winked. "Oh, I see how it is, well I was only lingering outside of your door to say goodbye to my beautiful best friend, Adelaide!" William walked into Adelaide and my dormitory and sat on my bed and smiled at Adelaide. "William?" Adelaide questioned. "Adelaide, my best friend!" Adelaide turned to me and inquired, "Why is William calling me his best friend? I'm so confused-" I smiled and shrugged, "William, you've made your point come on, we better be off?" I smiled and I started walking down the corridor. "Claudia Annabel Digby, come back here or I will order you to serve the duration of our time in the grounds of Oxford University, on my back and I shall not be putting you down until we meet your Prince Charming!" A voice boomed after me. I didn't turn around. I wish I did turn around though because what I learned is that William sticks by his word as the next thing that happened was this. Picture this: I, an innocent university student, walking down the corridor minding my own business when all of a sudden, an oath of a man came running behind me with his suitcases under his arms, when he took my box of off me and scooped me over his shoulder and BOOM! I was on his back and there was no getting away now. "Excuse me, oath of a Lord, how is this acceptable?" I croaked feeling like a frog deflating. "What do you mean? This is fine-" William said ensuring I was safe on his back before he said, "Oh, David my good man!" "It's Professor Abraham to you, Mr Lounsbottom." Professor Abraham corrected William sounding very offended. "Sorry, Professor Abraham, would you be able to pick up this box for me please, as if I bend over, Claudia will fall off my back, yet, if I ask her to get down, she will take the box and will walk away very quickly and I do not want that to happen." Professor Abraham replied as he picked up my box, "Just to get you off of my case, Lounsbottom." "Thank you my good sir!" William replied as he accepted the box off of the Professor.

"You and Ben should come to Canterbury  sometime and stay in our hotel! You'll love it." William said as he carried me along the corridors. I nodded and said, "I might have to take you up on that offer." Wills smiled, as we got out of the university and was pushed by the English squad. They were the equivilant of the school bullies who looked down at us IT people as if we were dirt. Well all of us except Wills. They knew he was royalty so they daren't be rude to him and also because they all wanted to jump into his bed. "Watch it, Bromleigh! You practically knocked Claud flying!" Wills shouted at the ring leader. "That was the whole point!" Bromleigh shouted walking backwards, acting like she didn't care. "I cannot believe Ads is friends with her!" I heard Bromleigh say to her friends, "She thinks she's so cool she is hanging around with Dukey, but we all know Wills is only friends with her because he feels sorry for her! The self-harming little rat!" Wills stopped in his footsteps plopped me on the ground, making sure I landed safely and said to me, "That's it! She needs to be told!" I tried to hold him off, when a voice boomed, "William Lounsbottom! Stop!" William turned around to see his mother and father standing at the gates next to Benedict who was standing in the same spot that he said he would be standing, holding a bouquet of flowers. "Wills, come on. They aren't worth it!" I got hold of his arm pulling him over to his mother and father, Duke and Duchess of Kent. "Good day, Sir and Ma'am. I am very sorry for William's behaviour just then. That was my fault." I said in my most politest voice I could pull. "Oh so you are Claudia!" The Duke smiled, "William always talks about you when ever we Skype. Especially those role-playing scenes you have to do in front of your class. They sound hilarious." I blushed whilst The Duke laughed a very posh laugh, and added, "Oh, why thank you." I said rather nasily as my throat hurt too much to talk normally attempting a curtsy. "Well, its been lovely talking to you. Don't stay a stranger, Claudia!" The Duke of Kent smiled, putting his hand out for me to shake it. I shook his hand and smiled at William who was stood behind his parents. "Say goodbye to your friend, William, we've got to go." The Duke said, as William put his arms around me and smiled, "Stay strong and I hope to see you at our hotel soon, Missy!" William winked letting me down. I smiled and nodded, "Have a very merry Christmas, Lord William the Freakishly Tall!" "You too, Lady Claudia the Scarily Small!" Wills smiled and walked off to his car and sat in the back.