Benedict Cumberbatch: Life With Ben

Chapter Fifty Six: Happy Days?

6th July 2016

Walking back home from a long tube journey from university, thoughts swirled my mind. Script ideas. Music lyrics. Movie quotes. Nursery rhymes. Wedding plans. As I thought, my earphones were inserted into my ears, and my long brown curls bounced by my hips as I pulled my suit case along the cobbled London streets. My sunglasses were pressed against the bridge of my nose and my lips were sealed with a shimmering coat of lip gloss. Whilst I walked, I saw phones being slid out of pockets and bags distracting people from the real world, being swarmed into the land of social media: snapchat, Instagram and Twitter, updating their statuses to 'oh my god! The weather is amazing today. Oh and just saw Claudia Digby!' I joined them and decided to check Ben and mine's Instagram and it was caked in photos of him. My stomach filled with butterflies and then I saw a picture of him in his trunks. Lust and love fought in my body and I felt my heart race rapidly, as it tried to break out of my body. I walked as I continued to stare at my handsome fiancé's body. I needed to see these muscles in person! I picked up my pace and was careful not trip over the cobbles. My flat gladiator sandals were careful with my step keeping me up right.

Soon arriving home, I stood at the front door, my head resting against the wooden archway as I rummaged in my shorts pockets for my key. My fingers stumbled around my pockets clumsily and as I searched. I grasped the key and shoved it into the key hole, and fell through the door as the door swung open. Did it open from my doing? Nope! It opened because of a certain Mr Cumberbatch. With my force, I had knocked the poor man over, my body on top of his. His muscles were visible through his white flimsy shirt, as my chest was pressed against him. "Hi!" I grinned, looking down at the man, whose hands were now slid into my shorts pockets, cupping my bottom slightly. A bright red blush caked my face and his lips separated slightly to reply, "Hello, sexy!" I giggled softly and kissed him on the lips gently. Well, I planned on it being gentle. Instead one of his hands slid to my face and cupped my cheek, deepening the kiss. I tried so hard to not blush deeply and fought lust. As we kissed, tiny pitter-patters crawled across the floor, heading right towards Ben and me. I looked up, and I saw a beautiful little girl. Piercing blue eyes and curly blonde hair, dressed in a white summer dress. "Alice" I cooed and I sat up, now sitting on Ben's lap. Alice giggled and clambered on to Mr Sexy's chest. Her hands clapped rapidly as Ben whispered to her "Baby, look, it's your beautiful mummy!" Alice clapped happier, her chubby hands applauding my return as she gurgled and tried to form words. I chuckled softly and scooped her into my arms "Hello Princess!" Ben's face lit up as he looked up at his daughter and me. My life felt nearly complete. I was 18, nearly 19, and I was a proud mummy, an actress, a director, a producer and a university student with the most amazing fiancé ever! Everything was perfect except! Ben recognised this and sat up gently so my legs would fall behind him, with Alice on our laps. He smiled as his hand rested on my cheek, rubbing it with his thumb. His curly mess flopped as he did and his eyes smiled softly. The creases by his eyes deepened and his nose wrinkled as he smiled which grew wide gradually as I nodded and smiled back, giving in to his cuteness. His lips rested on my forehead softly, reminding me to trust him. I sighed quietly and looked down at Alice who was now 7 months old. She was so grown up. She was sitting on her own and was constantly pulling herself up on the furniture. Was I proud? Of course I was! Oh, but I missed her. I missed seeing her grow up like this. The next 2 months were now going to be filled with memories that we are going to make as a family- Alice, Ben and I. We were going to take visits to see Wanda & Timothy, and I wanted to take Alice to the town her mummy grew up in to take her to the beach and to the zoo! It was also going to be her mummy and daddy's birthday too!

Slowly getting to my feet, as Alice crawled to the living room to play with her toys, Ben took me to the kitchen. His hand held mine, leading the way before lifting me on to the counter and locking my legs around his waist he rested his hands on my hips, "Oh, Princess, I've missed you so much" he whispered as he kissed me deeper than before. His tongue ran gently over my lip as our lips pressed together. Sparks flew as we kissed and our chests touched. My flimsy tank top ruffled as I scooted closer to my fiancé. My hands clutched his shirt and I grew more desperate to see the handsome torso that I saw on Instagram. The beautiful man recognised my lustful touch and he whipped off his shirt. My eyes fell to his chest and they widened drastically. I tried to form words but it didn't work. "Tonight." Ben whispered as his lips kissed my jawline. "Tonight I'm yours" I added, my eyes shutting with the pleasure over load. Ben grinned and lifted me off the counter gently. His hand reached for my left hand and looked at my engagement ring, which glistened in the summer sun light that flooded the kitchen. "I cannot wait for you to be my wife." Ben smiled looking me in the eye, as he clutched his shirt in his free hand. I shake my head and gleamed "Neither can I!"

The evening drew in, and Alice was in her cot asleep. The baby monitor switched on, the parents monitor was attached to my shorts, like a walkie talkie. Ben and I sat on the roof, in the conservatory, watching the sun set slowly overt the buildings. Ben's arm was rested around my waist and my hand laid on his chest as my head rested on his shoulder. As we cuddled up together, Spotify put my iPhone on shuffle. Shawn Mendes started to dance out of the speakers and Stitches sung into our ears. Shawn Mendes, the Canadian teen heart throb had found a place in both mine and Ben's hearts. Playing him all the time, I knew the words and Ben had learned the words from me singing them whenever we skyped. As Stitches touched my ear, Ben knew I was going to start to sing, his face lit up as his eyes looked down into mine and I separated my lips and I started to sing "You watch me bleed until I can breathe. Shaking, falling onto my knees and now that I'm without your kisses, I'll be needing stitches. Tripping over myself, achin' begging you to come help and now that I'm without your kisses I'll be needing stitches." As I sung I got to my feet and started to dance goofily around the conservatory. Ben slid his phone out of his pocket and he started to film. I threw my arms and legs about as I danced out of control. Ben said nothing until I finished dancing. He chuckled and said "And this is reason 563 why I love this girl and I'm making her my wife!" I had collapsed on the floor from exhaustion and I just laid laughing and Ben took a stride over to me and aimed the camera at me, so his face was slowly getting closer to mine. Soon he was laying on top of me, his lips slowly brushed mine, and he slowly pressed the stop button on his phone. My eyes widened before fluttering closed and my lips pressed against his. "I love you, beautiful." Ben whispered as he continued to kiss me. This was the first time we had properly kissed in months. I hadn't been home in months! Assignment after assignment, exam after exam. I couldn't rest. My mind was full of nonsense. Nonsense that would help me get into my second year of university. "I've missed you, Ben" I sighed, looking up at the handsome man that flattened me. My eyes were sad and tear lined, the exhaustion and stress finally wanting to leak from my body. The amount of nights I had cried into Ad's shoulder or into Colin the Teddy is unbelievable. I adored my course, but it was getting too much. I needed to shut down, I needed to hide and not come out again. Ben looked me in the eye and exhaled sadly and sat up as he then guided me onto his lap. He removed the walkie talkie from my shorts and held me close, resting my head on his shoulder. "Baby, what's wrong? Talk to me." He whispered. He kept glancing at my scarred wrists, just hoping I hadn't added more to myself. I had. His eyes started to over flow with sorrow and I felt horrid. "Baby, why, why do you do this to yourself?" He asked clutching my wrist, gently. "I don't know." I whispered and swiped my arm back. I could feel his arms wrap around me and held me protectively. "Baby, tell me why and don't say it's because you aren't good enough, because you are a beautiful and talented young lady that I love to Gallifrey and back. You are smart and clever and you've given me so much that I didn't think I could ever have. You've given me happiness, a family, a purpose. I know what the press have been saying about us- that you are too young for me, but you are an adult and I am not forcing you into anything. I love you for you!" I looked him in the eye after he finished and I sniffled, "I love you too, b-but this isn't because of you. I...I got told to. I got told to by Bromleigh." Ben's face grew angry, "What?!" he snarled and I shook my head. "Claudia Digby! Tell me what happened!" He snapped, not angry at me, but Bitch Bromleigh. "She's seen my scars beforehand, and laughed, but s-she had started talking about them. Spreading rumours around university. Saying that...that you did them to me. I grew angry and I told her it was me. I did them all. She knew I did but she enjoyed winding me up. She dragged me into her dorm and handed me a razor and told me to show her how I do it to prove it wasn't you. She made me cut my thighs and wrists. I tried to get away but she beat me. She attacked me." I sniffled and avoided eye contact with Ben. His body started to tremble with anger. "Where is this cow?! Where is she?!" He snapped and stood up, after sliding me off of his lap. "She's staying at uni for a few more weeks." I said timidly, scared of what he's going to do. He threw his shoes on and his jacket. With no word, Ben stormed off. I tried to run after him, but I wasn't quick enough. He had left in the car. Tears flooded my face and I crawled into bed. I was scared and now alone. Alice was asleep and I needed someone. I needed Ben.