on & off ⁀➷ y.jn ✓

2

KWON Y/N POV

Soonyoung and his members came home right before sun set. They came home with shopping bags filled with stuff such as.. toilet paper.. since Soonyoung likes to take fat shits at a fast rate, faster than Usain Bolt.

They came home with food, too. When we were all finished organizing everything that they had bought, and not to mention, disinfecting every single thing, it was time to eat. We were all sitting at the dinner table, all except for Jeongin. Jeongin was still in his room.

"Shouldn't you call Jeongin?" Jihoon looks at us.

"Y/N, what's he doing?" Soonyoung asks me.

"Last time I checked he was sleeping." I respond.

"Go wake him up." My brother orders me.

"Don't make her wake him up, hyung! That's cruel!" Lee Chan sighs.

"You go do it, then!" Soonyoung yells at him.

"Fine, since you're a fat lazy pig!"

Lee Chan goes upstairs to get Jeongin. We decided to use plastic plates and such because let's be honest, none of us wanted to wash the dishes afterwards. Lee Chan came down with Jeongin, which was surprising because Jeongin never really joined us for dinner anymore.

The only seat that was left was across from me. Lee Chan was sitting next to me, my brother and Jeonghan on each side of the table. I begin eating as I see Jeongin's chest in the corner of my eye.

"Are you sick, bro? Are you okay?" Soonyoung asks someone.

"I'm fine." It's Jeongin's voice.

His voice sounded deeper, but also more weak. It also sounded really strained, he almost sounded like he was losing his voice.

"Do you have a fever?" Jeonghan asks him.

I stay quiet, continuing to munch on a chicken drum.

"I'm fine." He says again.

"You don't look so fine, man.." Lee Chan says.

What are they going on about? I decide to see for myself, looking up at Jeongin. I was shocked at what I was seeing. Jeongin didn't look like Jeongin anymore.

It was exactly what Seungmin said; frail, skinny, pale, darkened eye bags.. he looked almost scary to me. It concerned me a lot; he obviously wasn't okay and he needed some form of help.

"Eat up, Jeongin." Jeonghan tells him.

The next fifteen minutes was uncomfortable for me. I could notice Jeongin barely eating, nitpicking around with the little crumbs of the fried chicken on his plate. He wasn't eating, he clearly didn't want to. He was so skinny already, he needed nutrients and food in his system. Strangely enough he just won't eat.

I couldn't really take it anymore, I was too uncomfortable. I was worried that if I stayed for longer, seeing him stare at the food, I would've really lashed out on him for not eating when he was already so skinny. I stand up, throwing my plate and chopsticks away.

"Thanks for the food, Jeonghan."

I walk upstairs into my room, closing the door. I take a deep breath, the anxiety growing up inside me. I had grown so worried about Jeongin because he really looked bad. It was worse than I could ever imagine.

I'm so angry at him. So angry at him for not taking care of himself, for not eating, for not cleaning up his room, for not sleeping well, for everything. He wasn't doing well and I WANT him to do well.. that's one reason why I stopped talking to him.

Why isn't he taking care of himself? I'm so angry. The infuriating feeling inside me couldn't go away no matter how much I tried and forced myself to push it away. I was too worried about him but I knew I couldn't say anything to him.

Maybe he'll get better within the next few days, maybe he's just having a rough week.. maybe he'll be okay soon. I hope so, because it's getting so uncomfortable for me; knowing that he was unwell and I couldn't do anything about it. Fuck, what should I do?

"No, stop. You can't freak out," I tell myself

"He'll be okay. Stop panicking."

"Stop it, Y/N! He'll be fine!"

"You don't care, you don't care, you don't care, you don't care..."

I gulp, breathing in and out deeply repeatedly. Remarkably I was able to calm myself down.. by eating chocolate mushrooms.

I sat on my bedroom floor, just munching on strawberry chocolate mushrooms while watching Korean dramas. It was only 10 minutes later that I finished the whole bag. It was saddening. I throw the empty bag away and lay on my bed, doing basically nothing.

My bedroom door opens and it's Lee Chan. He jumps onto the bed next to me, laying down. He breathes out loudly, pulling out his phone.

"Don't you think Jeongin looked scary?" He spoke up.

"He's in the next room, idiot." I stare at him.

"Oh! Right.." he giggled nervously.

"He looks like he has a disease." Lee Chan whispers.

"Yeah, he did look scary.." I mumble.

"Do you think he's okay?"

"Obviously not." I deadpan.

"Someone should talk to him." Lee Chan frowns.

"Jeonghan seems like the best at talking to him." I shrug.

"I don't think he'll listen to any of us.. except you."

"You're joking." I snicker.

"Am not." He shakes his head no.

"You guys haven't spoken in 3 weeks, ever since that argument you had. It's clear he's not doing well because of you."

"Are you-" he interrupts me.

"No, not like that! I didn't mean it like that. All I'm saying is, he's probably really upset."

"Let's give it another week. He's still eating in the morning, at least. One meal a day isn't enough at all, but at least he's eating something." I say.

"What if he doesn't get better next week?" He asks me.

"Then we'll really have to do something."

12:39 a.m.

I was still awake because I happened to drink coffee milk tea in the afternoon. I was wide awake, actually. I couldn't sleep at all. I was craving snacks during this time so I decided to go downstairs and get some, expecting Soonyoung to be downstairs because I thought I heard some noises earlier.

When I went downstairs, it was only Jeongin. He was eating spicy ramen at the dinner table alone, slowly eating. I freeze up, stopping in my tracks because I was shocked to see him there. I snap out of it and walk to the pantry, trying to search for snacks.

Eventually I found more chocolate mushrooms after doing some deep digging. This fucker Soonyoung must've hidden them from Lee Chan and I. I grabbed two bags and a can of bubble tea from the fridge, about to walk upstairs until Jeongin calls my name.

"Y/N."

I freeze up again, feeling weird after hearing him say my name after so long. Again, his voice sounded really strained; as if he was crying hard for hours. I gulp, turning around to face him. He stares into my eyes, not saying anything for a little bit.

"What's up?" I respond awkwardly, not knowing how else to reply.

"I..." he begins, but he hesitates.

"I-" he stops himself again.

"I think.." He keeps hesitating.

"Never mind. Sorry." He shakes his head.

"...Okay." I go back upstairs into my room.