on & off ⁀➷ y.jn ✓

8

KWON Y/N POV

It was already 11 at midnight. Time passed by quickly with Jeongin. He's still in my room, we're laying down on my bed at this point. He looks at me with a certain look on his face that I couldn't describe.

"Y/N, are you dating Hyunjin?" He asks me.

"No. How could you think that?" I burst out laughing from the thought of us dating.

"I thought.. I thought you two were dating.." he mumbles.

"We never dated, Jeongin. Never." I shake my head vigorously, denying it.

"The way you guys act around each other.." he frowns.

"He likes me. I don't like him back." I respond.

"I thought you guys were dating this whole time.." he pouts.

"No. I see him as a best friend." I snicker.

"Are you sure? It's okay if you're dating, I understand." He mutters.

"You seriously think we're dating? Everyone would have known already, if we really were dating." I say, not believing my ears.

"You guys are really close, that's why." He shakes his head.

"I'm not dating him, or anyone. I don't want to date anyone at the moment." I reply.

"Not even me?"

"I don't know." I mumble.

"So you lied to me?"

"So you can get better. You know I care about you," I begin. "I don't want to see you sick."

"So you lied..." he mutters softly.

"I'm sorry, Jeongin."

"I realized getting better just for you wasn't good. I'm trying to be better for myself, too. I'm not mad at you, I'm not upset. I'm trying to improve myself because I want to. I understand you don't want to date, I respect your decision. If we can't be together, then I don't think I can stand being friends with you and think of possibly losing you to someone else." He says.

"Jeongin.." I mumble.

"I'm sorry, but I need you. I need to be with you, I need to know that you'll be mine and mine always, I need to know that you're with me and no one else, I can't stand the thought of sticking around when you can easily find someone else." He gets teary.

"I understand." I nod.

"Goodnight, Y/N. Take care." He gets off my bed and leaves the room, getting the door behind him.

I sigh, not knowing how to feel.

"I realized getting better just for you wasn't good. I'm trying to be better for myself, too. I'm not mad at you, I'm not upset. I'm trying to improve myself because I want to."

If he knows he should be getting better and he's actually trying, then that's all I want. I don't mind if we aren't friends or if we don't talk anymore, I just need to see and know that he's perfectly fine like the way he was before.

I desperately need him to be the way he was.

next day

I woke up quite early this morning, because I slept early yesterday night. The thoughts just clouded my mind and caused me to be sleepy, so I managed to sleep early for ONCE this whole quarantine break.

I stayed in bed, though, because I had a major headache and wasn't feeling good. I didn't have an appetite either, which was good because I was lazy to go downstairs and eat.

I could hear their shouts and swears from all the way downstairs, especially my brother's.. as usual. This just meant they were playing games and was hyper.. as usual. Being the crazy people they are.. as usual. As much as it was loud, I loved waking up to hearing them rage over video games. It was definitely my favorite.

"YOU BITCH!!! YOU'RE A MIDGET!! STOP CHEATING!!"

"I'LL GET MY GUITAR, YOU BASTARD!!"

"HYUNGS, STOP YELLING!!!!"

"JIHOON STOP FUCKING CHEATING I'LL KILL YOU"

"NOT IF I GET TO YOU FIRST.. WITH MY GODDAMN GUITAR!!!!"

"THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU HYUNGS"

"JIHOON STOP CHEATING!!! OH MY GOD, YOU'RE SUCH A WITCH! STOP CHEATING!!"

"I'LL SMACK YOUR ASS WITH MY GUITAR!!"

"Y/N, HELP ME!!" Lee Chan yelled, whining.