on & off ⁀➷ y.jn ✓

4

KWON Y/N POV

I laid in bed for another few hours. I had absolutely no energy after what happened. My mood was completely drained and I didn't have the energy to get up or cheer myself up, or even move around.

I was so stressed out, I felt like I was going to die of pimples. The whole thing with Jeongin looking scarily sick, the phone call, Jeongin lashing out on them, him throwing stuff and yelling, his bloody fist.. I was stressed out to the max.

He clearly wasn't himself, we all acknowledged that. But why? I can't help but think about all the possible reasons as to why he's like this. Jeongin was so visibly messed up; he was always cheery and happy. Most importantly, he took care of his hair. Now his hair is just a tangled mess.

Lee Chan said that he might be upset because of what happened between us. I've been considering it, I really have.. but it makes no sense. I mean, I get that he could feel bad about it. He could possibly regret it. But, he wouldn't be so messed up like this. He's MESSED UP. I couldn't even describe it. Nothing in the whole world involving us could have made him this way.

I felt horrible for not helping him. I wanted to reach my arms out and hold him, but I know I can't. It's not that simple, I just can't. It's too risky, everything is on edge if I help him. I want him to get help, I desperately want him to. Just, not from me. I really want to help him with everything that I have, but I couldn't help but feel like I would make it worse.

I just have to fight the urge to run over to his room and hug him. The urge was almost uncontrollable, but a part of me knew that it was for the best. I feel terrible, but that comes with trying to move on.

With all of these thoughts clouding my mind, soon enough I got a major migraine. It was horrible, it was way stronger than past migraines I've had. It was obviously because of Jeongin, and I hated that.

He still makes me so stressed out about him even after everything. It's so infuriating that I still care about him. It angers me so much.

I thought I was doing okay about not worrying for him before, but after all of this.. I just can't stress enough. It really is a lot to deal with, especially if you've never really seen this side of him before. It was scary.

All I'm hoping for right now is that Jeongin's still sound asleep. I don't know what would happen if he woke up and was still as angry as he was. Sleeping Jeongin was the only time I felt really relaxed. Other than that, I worry about him all the time. Every second.

I heard the front door open with the keys jangling that made me snap out of it. I get out of bed and head downstairs, seeing the four of them back from going out.

"Where did you guys go?" I ask them.

"We went to the supermarket." Jeonghan replies.

"I wanted to stay home with you, but I couldn't because Soonyoung hyung forced me to go" Lee Chan pouts.

"That's okay." I chuckle.

I helped them wipe everything that they bought with disinfecting wipes, organizing them in the kitchen. I saw Soonyoung try hiding more bags of mushroom chocolate, and I smack his head.

"Ow, What's wrong with you??" He yells.

"You hid the chocolate from Chan and I, didn't you! You bought new ones and you're trying to hide them again!" I glare at my brother.

"Because you two are fat asses!"

"Hyung, am not!!" Lee Chan whines.

"All of you are." Jihoon snickers.

"Shut up, Jihoon, you're five feet tall." My brother argues.

"Why does that matter in this situation!" Jihoon stomps his feet.

"Join our convo when you finally grow taller, okay?!" Soonyoung sticks his tongue out at him.

"Y/N," Jeonghan sits next to me at the dining table.

"Yeah?" I look at him.

"How's Jeongin?" He whispers.

"He.. he got really angry and started punching things in his room. His fist got cut so I had to bandage it for him while he was sleeping." I frown.

"Why was he so mad?" Jeonghan's eyes widen.

"We were calling our friends, and someone asked him about our relationship, and he got really angry." I explain to him.

"So he just started punching things?"

"And swearing, and breaking stuff." I sigh.

"What the.." he sighs as well.

"He's clearly not okay. You should talk to him, Jeonghan." I look at him with a frown.

"I've tried in the morning when he was eating cereal, all he said to me was that he was fine." Jeonghan shakes his head.

"Ugh." I groan, frustrated.

"What do you think is messing him up so severely?" He looks at me with curiosity.

"That's the thing, I don't know! I keep considering so much reasons why he could possibly be like this, but I can't come to a conclusion, at all." I breathe out of frustration.

"Maybe you should talk to him?" He suggested.

I chuckle bitterly. "If only it were that easy."

"If I comfort him, he'll just lash out on me. Like he used to always do." I mumble.

"I really want to help, I really do.. but I don't think he'll want me comforting him. The same thing will happen like three weeks ago." I add on.

"I don't even know what to say, anymore.. I feel really bad for him, he's really messed up and it shows all over his face." Jeonghan sighs deeply.

"Maybe this week has just been rough, maybe he'll be okay later on. Let's hope."