Love Hate and revenge

My Beautiful Boy

We walked to the ICU I could hear the beeping of machines as soon as I entered the doors, Hugh did all the talking I was just scanning looking for my boy then I seen his name baby Blakewood I walked straight to his room,

"Excuse me miss you can't go in."

"I can and I will he is my son!"

"Oh right I understand miss Blakewood but if you could just give us a few minutes while we change his feeding tubes then you can come in ok."

"Well I'll wait here until there finished!"

"As you wish miss just to let you know the waiting room is to the left and there is a coffee machine to the right if your in need of a drink, oh and by the way he is much better now I have been looking after him for a few days and he is stable but I'll let you speak to the doctor."

I peered through the glass window I could see the doctor putting in his little tube he was so small so helpless I just wanted him in my arms.

10 minutes went by I was still staring at my son through the glass when the doctor came out,

"Can I go in now?"

"Hello you must be Miss Blakewood, may I speak with you for a moment?"

"Yes sure, is he ok?"

"If you would like to come inside where it's more private."

I was worried what was he going to say to me I hope he's ok please be ok,

"Right take a seat, your son is fine he needed help with his breathing so we put him on a ventilator that can be normal with a premature baby so don't worry, what I am concerned about is his calcium levels, we ran some blood tests and I think your son has bone marrow disease we don't know yet what has caused this it's very common for it to be leukaemia but more tests will be needed but I did explain to your fiancé that the quicker we find a bone match the better if worst comes to worst."

"When did you tell him?"

"We found this 2 days ago but have sent off more tests to the lab to confirm."

"Can I hold him?"

"No sorry but you can put your hand through the hole and touch him as long as you sterilise your hands first."

"Thank you doctor."

"I will give you half an hour then I would like to test you for a bone marrow transplant ok!"

"Ok."

That's all I could manage, how could this be I was a healthy baby and Hugh has never mentioned anything about his side and what's with him not telling me why is everyone keeping me in the dark.

The doctor left the room and after washing my hands I went to where my baby lay he was peaceful lying in his tiny diaper I couldn't help but get upset why my baby!, Have I not had enough bad luck in my life time I just need a break just a little bit of luck I mean not religious but I will pray every day for my son until he is better because if he goes then I don't think I could carry on.